A family vacation. Daddy. Mommy. Zachary. Evan. Sea Lion. Ummm, wait Sea what? I do not remember inviting an oceanic creature on the Kargas holiday. Yet there he was, accompanying us on every single car trip we embarked upon. "Arrf! Arff! Arff!" barking from the back of the Toyota we borrowed from my father. Did a sea lion come with the car?
"Arff! Arff! Arff!" "Is that a Sea Lion?" I inquire from the my position on the passenger's side.
"Yes!" Zachary calls from his car seat.
"Why what do you have to say Mr. Sea Lion?" I ask (innocently)
"Sea lion wants to say that the speed limit is 65 miles and hour and that he is 6 and three quarters years old."
How cute I thought. What an imagination! And it was adorable. For like the first 30 minutes. After that well, I had this insane impulse to reach back and strangle the imaginary beast.
"Arff! Arff! Arff!" from the back of the car, again.
"Whats up Sea Lion?" Daddy asks, trying to conceal the annoyance in his voice.
"Sea Lion says that it is 10:32am and that the speed limit is now 55 miles per hour."
"Wow. Thanks Sea Lion. I'll keep the speed limit in mind." Daddy answers.
I try and engage in a conversation with my husband, turning the music up and hoping it will distract Zachary, and perhaps make him forget the imaginary sea creature.
"Arff! Arff! Arff! Arff"
Oh for Pete's sakes.
"Yes Zack?" we say in unison with a tone of forced cheerfulness.
"I am not Zack! It is Sea Lion" we hear from the backseat.
I simply cannot take it anymore. After a weekend full of a barking sea-creature-child yelping at us every three seconds I am cursing the day I ever introduced the child to the beach.
"Sea Lion needs to take a nap! No more talking Sea Lion" I snap. "We want to talk to Zachary."
Our son responds with an ear piercing "Whaaaaaa!" Followed up by a heck of a lot more "Whaaaa" and some, "You hurt Sea Lion's feelings! You are so mean!" (over and over, and over again.)
Question, what is worse, a whiny crying four year old or a sea lion in your rear view mirror?