Mo Willems is my favorite children's author. His books are witty and entertaining, even for grown-ups. We gave Evan one of his books for his birthday: "The Pigeon Wants a Puppy!". It inspired this post. First Mo's original story:
Oh, hello.
How are you?
I'm fine. Thanks for asking.
By the way, do you know what I want?
What I have wanted forever...?
At least since last Tuesday...?
A puppy! Puppy! Puppy! Puppy!
Oh, don't worry. I'll take care of it!
I promise I'll water it once a month.
What?!
Everybody knows that puppies need plenty of sunshine and water!
Oh...I get it.
You don't want me to be happy, do you?
You don't want me to take a piggyback ride on my puppy!
Or play tennis with it!
You just don't understand.
I'm a puppy-lovin' pigeon!
Awww....
puppies.
I want a puppy! Right here! Right now!
Woof!
What's that?
Woof! Woof!
Is it possible?
Have my dreams come true?!
woof?
AWWWWWHHHHH!
It's HUGE!
The teeth! The hair! That wet nose! The slobber! The claws!
I mentioned the teeth right?
Really, I had no idea!
I've changed my mind.
I want a walrus!
My Adaptation:
The 30-Something Female Wants a Baby!
Oh, hello.
How are you?
I'm fine. Thanks for asking.
By the way, do you know what I want?
What I have wanted ever since I was a little girl playing with dolls?
A BABY!
Baby! Baby! Baby!
Oh don't worry, I think I am really ready.
I promise to buy lots of cute outfits and decorate the nursery.
What?
Everybody knows that babies need plenty of photo ops and a whimsical nursery.
Oh... I get it.
You don't want me to be happy do you honey?
You don't want me to post adorable pictures on my Facebook page
Or take the baby to the circus!
You just don't understand.
My biological clock is ticking!
Awww...
Babies!
I want a baby! Let's go! Right now!
9 months later....
"whaa!"
What's that?
Is that my baby? My dreams have come true!
WHAAAAAAAAA!
It's Crying!
The diapers!
The snot!
The sleepless nights!
The slobber!
The mess!
I mentioned the diapers right?
Really, I had no idea!
I've changed my mind.
I want a house plant instead.
Yep. You think I would have learned the first time around. Sigh. You just wrote my future. Slobber. Diapers. Neglected house plants.
ReplyDeleteIt's too late now Erin ;)
ReplyDeleteI only have one house plant and well it's dying...you hit the nail on the head!!
ReplyDeleteI can't seem to keep house plants alive either. Perhaps this is some sort of trend.
ReplyDeleteJust caught up on your last five posts. Awesome, as usual.
Good thing o didn't get houseplants instead! You were so much cuter:)
ReplyDelete