Monday, May 21, 2012

People I Want To Punch In The Face: Don't Call Me Corny

So the good news is, I never seem to run out of material for my People I Want To Punch In The Face series. The bad news is, I never seem to run out of material for my People I want To Punch In The Face series. I am an angry person. But perhaps it makes for good blogging.

This week:

#1: The "friend who referred to Getrealmama as my "corny little blog." Corny? Oh please don't call me corny. I realize that my writing here is hardly a piece of art, rarely thought provoking and only mildly amusing, but corny? Really? When I think of corny I think of all those flowery "inspirational" quotes about "Forever friends", Sister Love, the joys of motherhood, etc. I am not corny. I have been waiting for an apology, but this is also the person who told me that my tattoo would look much better if my arm wasn't so fat. Yeah, I know, I need new friends. Working on it.

#2: The damn Green Peace, Save The Children, Save The Whales, Save The World solicitors that stand on each side of the crosswalk on Lakeshore Avenue (and all over the country.) I walk by trying to motivate my kids to cross the street, which usually means dragging, pushing and bribing and then I have some 22 year old hipster yelling at me "Do you have a minute for the environment?" Does it look like I have a minute for the environment buddy? And lets just be honest, you don't want my minute, you want my checkbook. Can I please, please just cross the street in "peace?" Too much to ask?

3#: Anyone who ends their voice-mail greeting with "You make it a great day!" WTF? Maybe my grandma just died, my cat was run over by a car, my wallet was stolen or someone just told me I had fat arms. Make it a great day? Don't tell me what to do. Maybe I just want to wallow in self pity for crying out loud. Totally my right.

That's all I have time for today. More another time, promise.

9 comments:

  1. All three of those...karate KICK to the face. I'm not seeing 'corny' here at all.

    "You MAKE it a great day!" ???? If someone said that to me...I don't think I could restrain myself.

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  2. Corny? Fat arm? Who is this delusional person??

    Personally, I enjoy your writing! I don't find it corny- I find it relatable, entertaining, and honest.

    I especially like this People I Want To Punch In The Face series. :)

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    Replies
    1. Awww... Thanks! I need friends like you ! :)

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  3. Just tell me who this "friend" is. Apparently she doesn't know your mama is from Brooklyn. Fagedaboudher!

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  4. Actually, if your cat got run over by a car that would make it a great day for you.

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  5. I think this is a funny and relatable series, too!
    ...and you? Fat?! Seriously?!

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  6. Bah some friend!! Punch to the face and the back of the head!!! hahahahaha

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