So I was doing a little eavesdropping the other day while I was at the Y. I was trudging along on the elliptical machine and I was bored, because really all there is to do when you are on an elliptical machine is think about when you get to get off the elliptical machine. There were two high school aged boys working out besides me and yapping away. The conversation went something like this.
Boy 1: "Dude, I may or may not have made out with one of my best friends on Saturday. I can't remember for sure."
Boy 2: "No way. Do I know her?"
Boy 1: "Nah. She goes to another school. Her name is Ally"
Boy 2: "What is her last name? I might know her."
Boy 1: "I'm not saying"
Boy 2: "Come on man, what is her last name?"
Boy 1: "It starts with a P....it's Peterson"
Boy 2: "Yeah, I have heard of her! She is totally hot"
Boy 1: "I know, but she is my friend"
Boy 2: "So what, she is stacked".
Boy 1: "At least I'm not like Thompson I heard he hooked up with Kayla Jones last weekend."
Boy 2: "No way! Man she is a mess and she isn't even cute."
Boy 1: " I know, he must have had beer goggles on!"
A total teenage cliche right? But for some reason I was particularly annoyed by these two snarky hormonal kids. I wanted to look them in the eye and tell them how ridiculous they sounded, and to inform them that perhaps Ms. Kayla Jones wasn't much to look at now, but in a couple of years she would likely blossom into a super hot sorority chick who wouldn't give those pimply snots a second look.
Then it hit me. I had the gut wrenching thought that in about 12 years, my kid might sound an awful lot like these boys. Oh no. Oh never. There will be no making out right? There will be no talking about the bust size of a classmate, right? There will be no wild underage drinking parties...right?
Wrong. I know I am wrong. At one time I fantasized about raising daughters, and I worried about how I would instill a strong sense of self-esteem in my girls, while protecting them from date rapists and teen pregnancy. Now it is fairly evident that I am not having daughters, and instead I have to worry about raising boys who respect women and don't get themselves killed by frat party alcohol poisoning. There is always something to worry about. Perhaps it gets easier with time, as my kids gradually get older, it won't seem so offensive that the boys will be sexual beings, and someday adults. But right now, I simply want to push those ugly thoughts away. I want to keep my boys innocent and pimple free.