Dear Diary,
I have a couple of secrets. No better place to come clean than in my top secret diary. I wish that I had a lock. And that I could read and write, but let's over look those small details for the sake of humor.
First Diary, I have been a tad bit naughty for a few days now. Every morning I get up before everyone else. My brother lies snoring in his crib and mommy and daddy stay in their bedroom for forever. It is the perfect opportunity to go downstairs and help myself to some cereal. That's what my sleepy parents think anyway. Here is the good part, in the very cupboard where mommy keeps my Honeynut Cheerios are the giant Whopper candies. Big chocolate covered peanut butter and malt balls. Daddy and mommy are very stingy with them. I think that they are trying to keep them all to themselves. Each morning I sneak one or two. I almost got caught the other day. Daddy said he could smell chocolate on my breath, but I was quick on my feet and told him that he was wrong, I had only been eating cheerios, and then I changed the subject. I am pretty sure I got away with it! I hope he didn't notice my chocolate mustache..
Also I have an awesome trick I like to play to get out of picking up all of my toys. When mommy tells me it is time to clean up, I lie on the floor and pretend that I am really super tired. I start whining and tell mommy that I can't help because I don't have any energy left. Sometimes for good measure I also throw in a line about how I didn't make the mess and that it was all Evan's fault. Almost without fail, my gullible mother ends up tidying up all by herself, after telling me that I have to pick up three toys. Three toys? No problem, there were like 100! Works like a charm!
Anyway gotta go to bed. Mommy & Daddy think I am sleeping, they don't even know that I can type. SUCKERS!
Yours truly,
Zachary
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