Thursday, June 24, 2010

Dear California,

Dear State of California Customer Service Department,

California, with all due respect I am extremely disappointed in your service. I moved out here in October with the promise of a snow free winter and your beckoning wine country. California, I am disappointed.

Let's talk about this winter. Okay, no snow. Fantastic. Except. Except there were days upon days of endless rain. Rain that came down in sheets all day. Not stopping. Endless. Forcing me to take my children to germ infested indoor "play areas", which by the way bored me to tears.

And the pay off? This "summer". This "summer" which requires me to wear long pants and a jacket every day. This "summer" which has our nanny arriving to the door in the morning clad in a wool cap and cupping a steaming cup of hot coffee. I am sorry. Let me clarify... this is summer right?

In addition I am gravely disturbed by the housing situation in this fair state. I left a 3000 square foot home in a beautiful Denver neighborhood and moved into a little home in Berkeley. Yes, I mean little. L-i-t-t-l-e, little. A third of the space, for a third more per month... you do the math. I am not happy. At first, I thought it was sweet. I tried to make the best of the shoe box we call home. I went to the Container Store and bought boxes of various sizes so I could get organized. But you try shoving 3000 square feet into 1200. No amount of handy plastic contraptions can contain that mess, we are busting at the seems. And P.S. I hate it.

What else? You think I am done? California I am not. I am sick of your money grubbing state employees. Your meter maids that patrol the streets, waiting hungrily for the very second my meter expires. Placing your $50 ticket upon my windshield as I walk to the car, pushing a stroller and shoeing my preschooler towards my vehicle. Too late, they smirk. Your vile BART worker who sneers at me as I try to explain that I lost my brand new $30 ticket on the train. He stares with beady eyes "$5.50 for a lost ticket!" He demands, accusing me of trying to snake my way into a free trip. Hello, do I look like I am looking for a free ride? All dressed up with my laptop slung across my tired shoulder. Please.

California, you are a snob. Yes you have the ocean. Yes you have the bridges. Yes you have the tourists, and the endless fresh produce. But... I want my summer. I want to park my car for free. I want my Denver back. The sun beating down and baking my skin to a golden brown. The perfect summer nights, just the right temperature for a scoop of gelato at my beloved Red Trolley. My beautiful house with space to move and room to spare. I want my Denver back.

California, I'm mad. You have some explaining to do. I am waiting for my refund.

Your new resident,



  1. I remember visiting SF years ago during June gloom and was incredibly disappointed when I couldn't wear any of my shorts AND had to buy an "I love SF" or something equally cheesy sweatshirt when I got there. Hang in there and I hope it gets better for you.

  2. "The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco"

    -attributed to Mark Twain

    I am sorry, Rachel. Just wait til the weird September heat wave. It comes every year... right after school starts up again.

  3. hello from mbc! and oh... the bay area, so cool and yet so frustrating with that crazy weather! i'm originally from central oregon (also crazy weather... but much more like denver:) but i do love to visit sf and the surrounds. if you haven't already, just take a little day trip to santa cruz - that will cheer you right up! such a cute little city. hope it all gets better for you. :)
    adriel @ the mommyhood memos

  4. Ah cities, wonderful places when you are young, or even not so young, single or a couple and so don't mind and in fact like living in small spaces, don't care about the lack of car parking as you never drive you walk and put up with it all because the night life, restaurants and other social activities all make up for it. Different story with kids though isn't it? If we did not have our daughter I would love to live in Dublin again or another big city but now, when bed time for me is 10pm and being able to park right outside where I am going is a priority, no thank you!

  5. Oh my! I have not lived in California, but it sounds like it has some explaining to do. I hope it gets a little nicer. I am here from MBC! You have a new follower! I really look forward to following your blog! Come and visit me at Mama's Little Chick.

    Mama Hen

  6. Some day you'll be able to look at people shivering in t-shirts and shorts and have derogatory thoughts about them being tourists who thought California=sunny & warm.