Wednesday, January 6, 2010


Raise your hand if you need a vacation. A real vacation. The kind that does not involve a diaper bag, a children's museum, or fast food. You know what I am talking about, you have an outfit for every occassion but mostly just wear the same old swimsuit on the beach with a Corona every day. Sleeping in past 10:00 am. Breakfast buffets. Naps at 3pm. Cocktails at 7 and seafood dinner at 10. Maybe a massage, and lots of time to bond with the hubby. That's what I am talking about. Not the vacations we are now accustomed to. Flights to visit relatives, carrying suitcases full of board books and cheerios. Staying in vacation rentals so that you can prepare mac & cheese every night and maybe squeeze in some HBO in the spare room after the kids hit the hay.

I know you want it too. Listen we are all tired of being super-parents who are oh-so-excited to watch the kids having fun in the urine infested baby-pool. We want some ME time. Some no-responsibility time. Am I right?

Yes, yes, I know this is what I signed up for. It didn't happen on accident. Not only did I plan for it, I worked for it. I sought out doctors to help me get in this predicament. And the funny thing is, sometimes I even consider digging myself deeper into this hole by adding another munchkin to the brood. Sometimes.

This all came up because I was watching the Real Housewives of Orange County. Real my rear-end. These rich women never took care of their children for a nano-second. They are off globe trotting around with their fake breasts looking like a million bucks, drinking mojitos and shopping in Italy. I'm the real housewife. The kind that gets up at the crack of down to fix breakfast for crabby kids and looks around her1200 square foot home thinking "Damn. How did this place to to look like such pig sty?" The kind who doesn't get to go on sunset cruises wearing designer party dresses.

Before you hand me the line about the world's smallest violin, hear me out. I know I am lucky. I know I am blessed. I know I'll look back at this time with misty eyes and wish I could have it back. But this week I'm on a roll. The venting just keeps coming.

I guess....I need a vacation.

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