Yes, it is time again for the annual MOP (Mother's of Preschoolers) awards. I am pretty excited because this year I have been nominated in several categories. My nominations include: Worst Four-Year-Old Birthday (Producer), with eight stitches and an ambulance ride my performance was a stand-out, Cinematographer and Director of a short film (for my work on the home video: Hanukkah Dance Party), Most Disorganized Mom, and finally the very prestigious award-Meanest Mommy of 2009. There is also talk that I could be given the honour of the Mean Mommy Life Time Achievement Award, but that is just a rumor.
It could be a clean sweep, although I have major competition in the worst birthday category from the mom who served sugar-free vegan birthday "cake" to forty disappointed preschool aged party-goers. I do have the utmost confidence in my ability to nab the Meanest Mommy of 2009 award. I have consistent recognition for my talent. Zachary tells me no less than 15 time a day how terribly mean I am. I earn the compliment for a variety of trespasses. Zachary could easily spend the entire day rattling off examples of my cruelty. I enforce limits on the amount of time spent in front of the television. I force him to change out of his pajamas before we leave the house. I have the audacity to reprimand him for hitting his brother in the head with his Lightning McQueen car. Mean, mean plain old meanie.
And while I am anxiously awaiting my trophy (or trophies), I am also spending time researching and preparing for future MOSAK (Mother of School Age Kids) awards. I just know I could be a favorite for the "Most Embarrassing Mom Ever" award.
Wish me luck.