Sunday, January 17, 2010

Believe it or not

My mom and stepfather are here visiting this weekend. It has been a great visit. My mom keeps looking around Berkeley in awe saying "I cannot believe you really live here." "Look at the lemon trees, I cannot believe you really live here". "Here we are on Pier 39 and I cannot believe you really live here" "The flowers are so beautiful, I cannot believe you really live here" You get the idea.

Mom's right. We live in a truly amazing part of the country. Where the air never gets too chilly, where there is greenery year round, and where we are miles away from ocean and wine producing paradise. How did we get here? Oh thank you Clorox.

It feels good here. I guess I would not go as far as to say it feels like home, but then again where is home? A month ago during a harried holiday visit to Denver, I swore Denver was where my heart was. Maybe that is still true, but it is with a bit of sadness that I can say that the feeling is already fading. I left Colorado with a heavy heart, in fact the day we pulled away from 3352 Bryant Street I walked through every room of our house sobbing. Sobbing. The house, the neighborhood, the city all filled with such vibrant memories. Yet today the colors of those images already seem a bit blurry.

There are people that I still miss of course, but it is surprising how many people have already ceased communication with me. People who I shared the past eight years with, but who haven't sent as much as an email since my departure. And I suppose it goes both ways, I have been busy with our new life and I guess it is natural to lose touch with friends of convenience and proximity. Don't get me wrong, I have some friends that can never be replaced, but they are the people who will remain close to my heart regardless of where I reside. I have easily filled my days with a cast of new characters, and quite frankly spent more time focused on my family which has been, well refreshing.

I don't know how long we will be here. Along with the beauty of the area comes the price tag. The expensive housing, the inconvenient parking, the problematic school system. We will have to cross those bridges when we come to them. But for now here we are, a place I never thought we would really be.

Yes, we really live here.



  1. Rachel, first time here. You will find, as I did when moving cross country twice, that many friends will drop away, but a few, precious ones, will stay with you, if you make the effort. Note: you HAVE TO make the effort. It doesn't have to be often, but it has to be there. Your mom and I were friends for only four years before we moved to CA. We have been friends now for 26 years. She is a very precious friend, indeed. One who will always be important in my life. Give her a hug for me. Mary Schuff

  2. I have to say my heart broke a little when I read this! I knew you you would eventually fall in love with CA - who wouldn't? I also knew that YOU of all people I know would very quickly make some great connections with people. I miss you very much and hope for you nothing but happiness!
    P.S. what happened with the interview
    Love you,