Saturday, March 31, 2012

I need a good cry

It's 4am. I have been awake for two hours. I hear him cry. Even though he didn't wake me up, I don't feel like getting out of bed. I know he isn't hungry. He is crying for me because he is lonely. Because he wants to be held. Because he is awake in the middle of the night. I go to him and his sobbing stops as soon as I pick him up.

Babies use their tears to communicate. It tells us they are hungry, tired, cold, bored, or really pissed that you took the bag of tacks out of their reach. Kids cry too. A lot. I realize that every single day my kids are reduced to a wet puddle. This house could float away on tears shed in a week. They cry when they are frustrated, over tired, disappointed or when their feelings are hurt. The angry cries can be infuriating, and the quiet sad tears can break your heart.

I have come to believe that this is a good thing, all this crying even when it is painfully annoying. (Crying over a missing Buzz Lightyear sock?) I always know exactly how my boys are feeling, there is no guess work. The tears are often just what they need to get over something, it's a fabulous release.

I wonder when I lost my ability to cry. Don't get me wrong I can cry, on occasion, but often times the tears fail to come, even when I will them to be there. When I left Denver and said my goodbyes most of the encounters left my eyes dry. It was only as I pulled away from our home that I broke down in sobs, alone in my car. It seems these days tears require a powerful shove by a couple glasses of wine and a sappy song.

This week has been hard, I won't bore with the details, but I believe that I surely would have benefited from a good cry. I think it would do me some good. Perhaps a viewing of Terms of Endearment may be in order...... Shirley MacLaine always makes me cry. Bring it Shirley.

8 comments:

  1. Did you watch the boy with the amazing voice on Britain's Got Talent? Ugly cry.

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  2. So cathartic...I've been crying buckets over the past 2-3 weeks. It has left me feeling somewhat cleansed and ready for more of what life has in store. (((hugs))) I hope you are able to give yourself the gift of a good cry :)

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  3. Yeah, I need a good cry, too, sometimes. My boys aren't into crying... more like yelling and whining. Even basic requests are shouted at me- "MOM, I WANT JUUUUUUUUUUICE!!!!", even if I'm standing right beside them. The noise alone is enough to reduce me to tears. But the bipolarness of toddler- and preschool-hood are really what drive me insane.

    I think it's no wonder that wine is nicknamed Mommy Juice...

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  4. Love it! Although I am a total crier. I regularly crumble in front of my Hubby and burst into tears saying, "I-just-need-to-cry!!!" and he let's me. Wouldn't dare do otherwise. :) Hope you get a good one in soon!

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  5. I find myself in the same position from time to time. When I really need to cry, and feel that I can't (strange, right?) I go out to find and rent a tear-jerker, or put on one of the songs that makes me cry. Since it's such an auto-trigger, the tears them come freely, and I can get everything out that I need to.
    Strange that we've changed this way, isn't it? I suspect that it's because we need to be strong all the time for everyone around us - we don't have a lightswitch built in - when we need to turn off the strength, it's hard. Takes some kick-starting.

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  6. Yeah, we are engulfed in tears every day around here. Must feel nice to be able to express exactly what you are feeling though!

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  7. Call me. I'll give you something to cry about!! I never said that to you. :). Rent a sad movie.

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  8. Call me. I'll give you something to cry about!! I never said that to you. :). Rent a sad movie.

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