It's the middle of the night, and here I am awake. Again. Throughout my life I have periodically dealt with periods of insomnia. My first experience with sleep difficulties came in eighth grade. 1988 is a year that I'd like to forget. It was the height of awkward adolescence, my parents had both remarried, I changed schools and was greeted by a bunch of girls (a high proportion of which her blond and named "Amy") who decided they despised me. I started having migraine headaches, headaches so bad that I actually threw up all over myself on the school bus one day. That did nothing to help my popularity. Some time in the fall I seemed to lose the ability to sleep. The more I thought about it, the worse it would get. As night would fall I would feel a horrible sense of dread. At dinner I would begin to anticipate the quiet of midnight. At bedtime I would toss and turn and cry in frustration. I don't know exactly how long this period lasted, but I remember the greatest relief of all came when I discovered that a combination of George Winston and Little House On The Prairie could put me to sleep.
These days I have no trouble falling to sleep. Exhausted I need only to close my eyes and I'm gone. It's one am that gets me. I wake up, and I'm usually wide awake for a couple of hours. It's terribly frustrating as I know that even on a Saturday the day will start early.
I suppose I could be productive during these middle of the night hours. I could do a load of laundry, mop the kitchen floor or even do some candidate sourcing, but all of those ideas seem terribly unattractive. I'm tired. I just can't...sleep. So here I am. Babbling into cyberspace. Writing a post that is essentially nothing but a request for pity.
Apparently middle of the night blogging isn't a good idea either. Sorry.
But here I am. Typing about.. nothing.
When i can't sleep i take two regular Tylenol. It made me sad to read about my Rachie in Middle school. That period of life can be sheer hell under the best of circumstances. Wish i could give you a hug. Here..... BIG CYBER HUG!!!!!!! Love you.
ReplyDeleteThat does stink. I would get on the computer and try for some blog posts or watch tv. Although there is nothing on at 1 AM! It's hard knowing you have to get up in just a few short hours and function. Hopefully you sleep well the next night!
ReplyDeleteThat happens to me sometimes too- when I was pregnant with P I was up in the middle of the night almost every night. It sucks. Everyone else is cozy and asleep and you just want to be sleeping. I feel for you b/c it stinks!
ReplyDeleteAnd your photo is so doomsday-insomnia. I can almost see the hands ticking...
I have RA and had to be on some medication for a while that gave me insomnia. My doctor gave me some Ambien but I only used it a couple of times. Once I was off the steroids everything went back to normal. Usually having a couple a kids leaves you too exhausted to lose too much sleep.
ReplyDeleteHey, me too - in fact my blog name is a homage to the years my insomnia was so bad I barely saw daylight. I wish I could give you a solution (or you one me!) but I generally feel consoled that I'm not alone in this affliction. Year eight generally sucks but yours sounds so awful. Maybe the movie Heathers should have been called Amys! What makes some girls so mean??? Such a complex question that one!
ReplyDeleteUgh. That is the WORST! Being so tired I was sobbing yet my body wouldn't let me sleep. I went through a spell of that --- followed by a two year spell of horrendous, terrifying nightmares that made me wish for the insomnia. It was awful and all I wanted to do was crumple in a heap on the floor and give up. I never really wanted to get up and be productive. Hope this ends soon for you and you can get some much needed sleep!!
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