Dear Author Of The Captain Underpants Books,
I do not like you. Not even a little. I am sorry that my children ever discovered you. It must have been a classmate that made the introduction, it certainly was not me. I have taste. I have manners. I am a little repressed when it comes to bodily functions. If it were left to me I would have filled the bookshelves with Beverly Cleary (why yes she did more than the Ramona books!)
Beverly Cleary wrote clever books about mice riding motorcycles and they aren't in the least bit offensive. Your vile stories however, leave me cringing as I read. Do I really have to say words like Frankenboogers and BM aloud? Gross, Gross, Grossest.
Mr. Author of this terrible series, do you have any idea how long and hard we have worked to eliminate potty language in this house? It has been a battle, and there was some tremendous progress made, and then your books. Now my children are reenacting tales of purple potties and booger throwing. I want to gag.
Did you never grow up? Do you not realize how cheap your humor is? Don't tell me to lighten up. I have a feeling you were an unpopular kindergartner and now you are just trying to make up for it in your older age.
Shame on you.