Tuesday, March 15, 2011

8:25am, January, 1996

I glance at the alarm clock. 8:25am. I had hit the snooze button one two many times. Game-time decision. If I get up now, I would still have time to throw on a pair of sweats and a baseball hat and make the hike up Bascom Hill to my 8:50. No time for coffee though. I roll over and look out the ice covered window. The high would be 25 degrees today. Bloody cold. Too cold. I pull the covers over my head and shut my eyes. It's only Botany. I'm studying to be a social worker, so what do I care about photosynthesis anyways? Besides this particular professor literally reads her lecture word-for-word from her overhead projector slides, and I can purchase those notes from the student union on Thursday. I'm going back to bed. My next class isn't until 11:00.

I had a mentor for a brief time in college. She facilitated a teen-parenting program at a local non-profit where I was interning my senior year. She gave me a ride home on Tuesday evenings. Each night as we approached my apartment she would sigh heavily and confess how jealous she was of my life. She was a young, working mother, and could think of nothing better than spending hours in the library studying. Meeting friends for lunch. Working out at 2:00 in the afternoon. Drinking on a Wednesday night. I would roll my eyes as she would gush on. What did she know? My life was not carefree. I worried. I worried about my grades. I worried about my appearance. I worried about my relationship. I worried about my future. Yet, I never forgot those conversations, somehow I knew that one day I would understand her point of view.

Today I do.

Today I woke up at 7:00. I had accidentally slept in. Our usual alarm clocks have been sleeping later since the time change. I was tired and groggy, and wished that I could play hooky for the day. But there is no calling in sick anymore. Somehow the pre-negotiated occasional girls afternoon out doesn't seem to count. The "Can I go to a movie on Saturday? I promise I will be home in time for the bedtime routine" cannot compare with spur-of-the-moment decision to take a day off. Pure freedom.

I know that I am suppose to profess that I would never turn back the time, that life is so much better today. In many ways this is true. But if I was offered the opportunity to temporarily travel back in time to that cold morning in 1996, I wouldn't turn it down.


  1. Do I hear this so loud and clear? YES, I DO!

  2. No kidding! I finally got to use a pedicure gift certificate I got for Xmas...after nearly 8 months of unpainted, unmassaged tootsies!

    I remember the days of just "deciding" I was going to go get one, and doing it...in the same hour...haha!

    Oh hey, thanks for visiting my blog, btw....I'd like to send you a cute little hair clip...it's just 1.5 inches. I bet you could find enough hair for it :) Do you mind emailing me your addy?

    Whaddya say?

  3. Yeah, we all do! That mentor knew there was a gigantic gulf between the two of you that would only ever be bridged once you were a mother. But as you say you couldn't truly appreciate it at the time. It's a cruel twist that one!!

  4. ahhh, sleeping in. A thing of the past, for sure....

  5. I was so excellent at sleeping in. *sigh*

  6. Cameron,

    How sweet of you!!! How could I turn down an offer like that? Please email me at rkargas@hotmail.com and I will give you my address. I'll take a picture for my blog and put a link back to your site! :)

  7. Sleeping in? What the heck IS THAT? lol

  8. I miss those days sometimes. Really, really miss them!