Empty. My house is empty. I took my boys to the airport at the crack of dawn and watched them walk away from me, their backpacks hanging low on their tiny hips while they held tight to daddy's hands. My eyes burned and I cried all the way home, regretting my decision to stay behind.
My house will be empty for the next seven days. Just me, my stinky dog and my cats. I don't expect you to feel sorry for me. In fact I know most of my mama readers might be downright jealous. It sure does sound appealing doesn't it? Normally I would embrace this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and live it up. But things aren't normal. I'm seven months pregnant. Although I have lived in the bay area for 1.5 years, I still don't have the same network of girlfriends that I have had earlier in my life, so I have few plans for the week. If I were given this gift while (not pregnant) in Denver, I would have immediately planned a girls-night-out at my favorite Lola's. I would have hosted a wine tasting party at my house. I would have hit happy hour with old co-workers. I would have seen a chick flick with my sister.
But that was a different era. Now, I am hormonal, unable to drown my misery in Cabernet, have fewer girlfriends and live far away from family. As a result I am feeling acutely alone. Sad. Missing my family. Worried that my boys won't miss me enough.
Looking on the bright side, I'll have plenty of time for all of my favorite Bravo television, I'll get to sleep in and probably even get a massage. It could be worse, I know. But humor me a little, I'm a bit weepy, so drop me a line and say hello. I could use a little love.
Even though I did laugh about your hubs needing to deal w/ airsick kiddos, I hear you on the crying. I would cry, too. My older girl is going for her first overnight field trip tomorrow and I'm feeling a little weepy. If my man weren't chaperoning the trip, I would be in your house with an assortment of chickflix and edible goodies…and I'd be hanging wid you :) Hoping you get a little enjoyment while they're away. (((Hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI love Lola's! Hosted a bachelorette party there for my best friend from college who now lives in Denver (: You should go see tons of movies -- it's fun even if you are by yourself. Read lots of books! And definitely do a massage, pedi and mani. Treat yourself to brunch and the paper. There is so much to do and so little time (: And your pets will keep you warm at night. It's not so bad.
ReplyDeleteI know how this feels - I made a similar decision last year out of exhaustion. But take the op to just relax, sleep in, eat what you want and do what you want - I promise you'll be a new person!
ReplyDeleteI'd be painting and crafting with little to no attention to diet or hygiene....probably best to get out of the house for a bit! A massage would be lovely...but it can make you more weepy afterward (I was a massage therapist for 6 years after waiting tables). The kids will be be fine...they'll be so excited to see you and tell you their adventures! Maybe go out and pick up little somethings for them...always cheers me up when I'm missing my girl :)
ReplyDeleteHang in there!
I can understand the emotion, especially since you're pregnant. However, just remind yourself of all the late nights, no sleep, barely time for a shower days to come and you will probably snap into pamper yourself NOW while you can mode. Get the mani/pedi, eat what you want, watch what none of the rest of the family ever wants to watch, and call a few friends to meet out somewhere. It will feel great and you'll be glad you did!
ReplyDeleteAw, I know what you mean about being so far from friends and family. I'm always missing out on stuff, and I also have ridiculously few friends here in CA (it doesn't help that we're moving in a few months anyway). Think about this, though- you can go to the movies, order the candy and popcorn you want and not have to split it, watch a movie without compromise, and not worry about taking along a diaper bag or bringing someone to the bathroom in the middle of the movie! When Hubby was deployed and I was a newbie to Hawaii while pregnant, I shopped. A LOT. Didn't buy much, but I loved getting out and enjoying my last few weeks of alone time. I hope you get to enjoy this week, whatever you end up doing! :)
ReplyDeleteHope you are feeling a little better. I know the feeling. Last year my guys went to Boy Scout camp without me. I was definitely lost. Luckily, I have a really good friend here who took pity on me and had me over for dinner. I actually enjoyed hanging out and playing board games with her kids. Makes me wonder what I'll be like when my son goes to college. Probably a wreck.
ReplyDeleteThey'll be home before you know it. Try looking on the bright side, missing someone gives you a chance to realize just how much they mean to you.
I know exactly how you feel! I went away a few months ago, thinking it would be great to have a break from everyone, and one of the first things I did was notice some art in the airport that I thought the kids would think was cool. And then I felt bad because they weren't there. It's such a no win situation. I just hope you can hit your stride and find some fun stuff to do that gives you a good rest. You deserve it. Wish I could drive over the hill and hang with you.:)
ReplyDeleteOh man, it's tough later in the pregnancy. You should definitely get a prenatal massage and spend some time relaxing on the couch watching trash TV- take advantage of the things that pregnancy keeps you from doing (a good excuse to do the things you might normally feel bad about). Enjoy :)
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