The Christmas Letter

Dear Friends & Family,

You can be my friend today, but you might not be my friend tomorrow. I'll have to see if you are still nice. I guess I'm stuck with my family but I wish that my little brother was not in my family. I wish that it was only me.

This year my little brother has become really terrible. He is so MEAN. He always copies me even when I tell him not to. He always has to say everything first too. Like when we are out driving in the car he always has to open his mouth first to tell mommy that he saw a fire truck or an ambulance. I know that I saw it first dumb dumb. He just always says it faster. I hate him.

I am in preschool. I'm five but I'm not in Kindergarten yet. I don't want to be. I have my best friend at the JCC. His name is Eli. I like him but sometimes he is mean. At school I like the part when we play outside the best. And snack time. Snack is always better than lunch. Mommy packs me bad lunches. She gets mad when I don't eat them, but then she should put better stuff in my lunch box. Like Cheetos and chocolate milk. I love Cheetos. Sometimes I trick mommy into taking us to Subway. I don't eat my sandwich. I just want the Cheetos.

I can read now. I learned all by myself. I like the Frog & Toad books and I know all the words to Green Eggs and Ham.

I also take karate. It is hard. The best part is when we run around in circles and do sit ups. The worst part is when we have to figure out which leg to kick with and which hand to punch with. It gets confusing and I get mad. Sometimes I quit but the teacher just stares at me until I try again. I guess it is okay. I am going to learn how to use karate on my brother. Hi-yah!

Mommy & Daddy tell me that we are going to have another little brother in the spring. I hope he is not like Evan. I want to name him Stanly. Mommy said no. But maybe I'll change her mind.

Soon we are moving to Oakland. Mommy says we need more space now that we are having another baby. But the baby is so small, why can't we just put it in the closet? It's okay. Our new house is nice. We can look out the windows and see people get on and off buses all day long. Cool! I overheard mommy saying that there were a lot of bad guys in Oakland. I wonder if there are a lot of jails there too. I think Evan should go to jail but daddy says that kids don't go to jail only juvenile detention. Maybe he can go there.

We are going to fly on an airplane and go to Denver for Christmas. I can't wait. On the airplane I get to watch movies and eat pretzels. I want to see snow. In Berkeley there is no snow. I don't know how Santa can use his sleigh when there is no snow. When we are in Denver I get to see my friend Finn. I used to call him toddler Finn, but I guess he isn't a toddler anymore. I always have fun at his house. Last year we took off all of our clothes and ran around the Christmas tree naked. Finn's daddy got mad and made us put our clothes back on. He is mean. I also get to see my cousin Finn. I used to call him baby Finn, but now he is 3. He has the most toys of anyone in the world. I can't wait to go to his house.

Santa is going to visit us in Denver. Mommy says he knows where to find us. I hope he brings me lots of toys and nothing for Evan!

Merry Christmas!

Zachary