Sunday, February 28, 2010

Kargas Inc. Company Newsletter


Kargas Inc. Newsletter. Volume 1, February 2010.


Employee of the Month Award.


This month we have decided to bestow the prestigious EMA to Evan Kargas (photographed above.) Evan joined our organization in June of 2008. After a rocky start, Evan grew to be a welcomed addition to the team. Evan has a positive attitude and a sunny disposition. With his stunning good looks, and his rare ability to adhere to the "less is more" rule of communication we feel he makes an excellent spokesperson for Kargas Inc. We have noticed a significant increase in interest in our organization since his employment and we are looking forward to his continued contributions to the company. We envision great things for you Evan!


A Note From Human Resources.


As many of you are already aware we are in the process of conducting a study of employee retention and satisfaction at Kargas Inc. We are excited to announce that the initial findings regarding retention are outstanding. We have in fact had zero percent turnover since the company's inception in 1999! This gives us confidence that we must be doing something well! The results from the employee satisfaction survey are being studied. In most areas employees seem moderately happy with the organization. A few areas have been identified for further study and improvement. Primarily we have noticed some communication problems between Senior Executives and junior staff members. The staff is reporting that while supervisors seem to listen to their ideas and opinions, there is often little follow through. Employees mentioned that all suggestions of moving the company's headquarters to Tanzania, or implementing a pirate themed dress code have been ignored. We want to assure the staff that the senior management values their input, and we will move forward on any reasonable suggestions. We are in fact seriously reviewing one employees suggestion for a no-vegetable policy. We will provide further updates as available.


A Note from Facilities:


We have had a recent increase in vandalism of company property. We would like to remind everyone that writing on walls, furniture and tabletops is strictly prohibited. There are serious consequences for violations.


Upcoming Events:


March 1: Brown Bag Seminar: "Nobody touched your cheese, just eat it"

March 19-28: External Auditors ("Nana" & "Grandpa") on site. Attendance during this period is mandatory, and good behavior is expected.

TBD: Off-Site Sr. Staff meeting. This event will occur at least once during the course of the month. Senior staff will meet at an undisclosed location in the evening hours to discuss company strategy over cocktails.




4 comments:

  1. This is soooooo clever. I love it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Ann. My next post mentions you and your blog... so stay tuned.

    ReplyDelete