Tuesday, February 9, 2010

A Valentine for the Haters.

I am one of those people who adores Valentines Day. Cellophane wrapped heart shaped packages of chocolates, red roses, construction paper valentines, sugary "conversation" hearts, I (literally) eat it up. I know this puts me in a somewhat unpopular group.

There are so many Valentines Day haters out there. Some of you have good reason, it's a lovers holiday, and for those who are not in a relationship it can be an unnecessary, over-the-top reminder of your single status. Back in my working days, I was one of those women who would be called down to the front desk because my annual roses had arrived. I was the envy of many of my colleagues, and the recipient of evil glares from the lonely hearts in surrounding cubicles.

Some of the haters call it a "Hallmark" holiday, a holiday created by marketers with the intent to sell. To that I would respond with two things 1) Florists need to make a living too. 2) Really, commercialism, how does that set apart Valentines Day from any other holiday? As if Christmas and Easter don't have their share of over-spenders. (Hello-Giant Target Easter Basket?)

But in any case in order to ingratiate myself with all of you anti-Valentines, I am going to go ahead and list my three WORST Valentines Days ever.

  1. 1997: Valentines Day in London. Romantic right? Wrong. I celebrated Valentines Day waitressing at the Chicago Pizza Pie Factory. We got in early and decorated the hip pizza restaurant with red checkered table clothes and candle light. I handed half-dead pink carnations to every lady that came in that evening. I served up heart shaped pizzas to a) couples who couldn't afford a night at a better restaurant or b) drunk groups of Valentines Day Haters. On the bus ride home at 2am, I got vomited on by the extremely intoxicated man sitting behind me. It was stuck in my hair. Not kidding.

  2. 1998: I wanted an engagement ring. Is there a better way to tell the love of your life "Happy Valentines Baby, I love you" than a sparkly diamond and a life-long commitment? I had it coming after all. David and I had been dating for six years. We had talked about it for crying out loud. I got my hopes up. That year I unwrapped....a cookbook. "Secrets of Fat-Free Italian Cooking" I kid you not. Yes, there was a fight.

  3. 2008: I was just about twenty weeks into my second pregnancy. I was hoping that I was having the girl that I had always dreamed of. An ultrasound scheduled for February 14Th, had to good luck right? The husband sent pink roses to the office that day. He gave me truffles dusted with pink sugar. I wore a pink shirt to the appointment. Two minutes into the exam, the technician announced "I know the sex!" If she knew that quickly, and that definitively, I knew too. She saw.... a penis. I burst into tears. I didn't want another penis. I wanted a girl. I cried through the rest of the appointment. I made quite a scene. At dinner that night my husband told me he felt as though he were at a funeral. I told him, he was witnessing the death of a dream. There would be no tea parties, no prom dress shopping, no wedding planning. Talk about melodrama. In retrospect, had I known that it was Evan who would be coming into our lives I should have been overjoyed. Hindsight.

So there you have it folks. My Valentines-Hating friends. See, even I have had a few duds.

Happy Valentines Day!

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