Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Pop Fizz: Fifty Shades Of Stupid

My latest idea for a blog series? Pop Fizz

What's that? Well most of my readers are aware that  I love People Magazine. Clarification, I love to hate it, but whatever. For me it is like a car accident and I just can't look away. Why should I care about Lindsay Lohan? Why should I have any interest in what Snookie's nursery looks like? I'm too smart for all that, right? Don't answer that.

It is safe to say that I love to bitch about celebrities and the culture that surrounds them. Thus, this series will be dedicated to pop stars/celebs/culture and how it all annoys me, falls flat and fizzles out. (Clever huh?)
 To kick off the series I'm starting with....

FIFTY SHADES OF STUPID. (err, GREY)

Far too much has already been written on the topic, so I'll keep it brief. This is the worst piece of smut I have ever read. Okay, admittedly I don't have much experience in reading smut, but I am sure that this must top the list. Perhaps what really bothers me is that the book tries to disguise itself as an actual novel. With a plot. I don't think so. In fact, I don't think the storyline is anymore sophisticated than soft porn. In a porn movie you might find a housewife in a silky robe opening up the door to a plumber in tight jeans, and a shirt undone to his belly button highlighting his six pack. She bends over to show him where the leak under the sink is and....well you get the point. Pretty much the same thing with Christian Grey and Anastasia. She walks into his office to conduct an interview, bites her lip a few times and totally seduces a multi millionaire CEO, who, while running his empire finds plenty of time to draft up sexual contracts and bang his "girlfriend" 15 times a day.

Maybe porn is your thing. I'm not a prude, that's fine with me. However readers are actually approaching this like it's a legitimate book, one that deserves to be discussed over coffee and scones while at book club. They have no embarrassment while proclaiming on Facebook "So addicted to Fifty Shades! Just can't put it down!" Honestly, you might has well be shouting out to the world "I can't put down my Penthouse Magazine! I'm totally getting off on it!" Who would do that? Nobody. But ladies, that is exactly what you are doing. Exactly. It is fascinating really, how this silly little "novel" has outed so many women who secretly, or unknowingly like SMUT.

I can honestly say however, that I am not not one of those women. No. Fifty Shades Of Stupid did nothing for me. Nothing.




8 comments:

  1. I have heard such mixed reviews about 50 shades that I feel like I need to read it just to find out what all of this hype is about!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't bother - it is really horrendously written. I have to wholeheartedly agree with our blogger friend here...don't waste your time!!!!

      Delete
  2. A few friends and I had a copy along on our girls weekend, and we took turns reading it aloud. COMPLETELY HILARIOUS! And horrifying.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes, DO NOT waste your time!!! Although Greta's idea is pretty awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am interested in that kind of thing (though usually involving werewolves, demons or vampires...I know I'm 39 going on 15...haha!) but, I have absolutely no interest in reading this book based on what I've heard of it...

    Thanks for re-confirming my avoidance of it :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Errrrrr.....Can I disagree? ;) Although it may not have been written well, I was still sucked in. I think cuz Christian Grey may have reminded me of an ex....and my old life before baby (babies). ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Going on Facebook to Share your latest session with Penthouse magazine.HYSTERICAL! Yep this book did nothing for me either though I did find myself fantasising about having a housekeeper who picks up my laundry and reads my mind on what I want for dinner that night. (Totally weird though how the housekeeper had her own key to the red room of pain. What was that about????

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Luna, I think that Grey's money was the ONLY thing that made him attractive. I could use some of that!

      Delete