Wednesday, June 6, 2012

They Googled WHAT?

When I first discovered Google Analytics I was obsessed. I checked every day to see how many visitors I had, where they were from, what key words people used to find me and how long they spent on my blog. Over time, it has grown old. I have remained pretty steady with about 30-35 visitors per day and for the time being I have given up on trying to improve those numbers. It has been a while since I have checked my analytics, and when I visited the site yesterday I was surprised by what I found.

I have visitors from all over the freaking world. Egypt, Indonesia, Saudi Arabia, South Africa, Croatia, Sierra Leone, Finland, Pakistan.... the list goes on and on. How cool is that? I only wish people would leave more comments! Come on readers in Brazil, show me some LOVE!!!

The other shocking, and somewhat disturbing find? People have used some pretty messed up keywords to stumble upon my little blog. It is a little unsettling to see how many people have found getrealmama by searching for "How to torture a woman" or "pregnant women torture." Yikes.  Of course there are many of the standard searches you would expect to find, "mac & cheese recipe," "Jessica Seinfeld no butter", and "baby boy." But for your amusement here are a few of the top crazy keyword searches that might lead you to me....

"nice and beautiful ass"
"nude short hair"
"smile nude patio"
"so there's this kid I want to punch in the face"
"wearing diapers at the hospital"
"in our room in Vegas"
"punch in throat" 

It appears that I have a mix of nice homemakers and violent pornographers stumbling on my blog. Diversity. It's a good thing. Right?


  1. My stats show something similar. I get lots of boob searches. I have some theories on which countries are generating the most icky searches...

  2. Gross, dude. People are sick-o's. Most of them.

  3. who searches for "smile nude patio"? what does that even mean?