Friday, December 2, 2011

Yup, I've thought of that.

Yes, I have actually thought about....

Checking into a posh hotel in the middle of the day by myself. To sleep. For five hours.

Getting a tummy tuck.

Getting botox.

Taking a giant garbage bag and collecting each and everyone of my kid's toys, then donating them to charity when they tell me that they are bored.

Selling my wedding ring, wedding pearls and crystal and using the money to pay for a giant European vacation.

Driving my dog and two cats into the "country" and letting them run "free."

Keeping Wiggum's ashes by my bedside for the rest of my life.

Serving my children mac & cheese for dinner every single night for the next month.

Taking all of the money that I would spend on holiday gifts and donating it to a needy family instead.

Creating a public service announcement regarding the risks of having three children. (Maternal insanity is number one on the list.)

Going to McDonald's and ordering a size large egg nog shake and drinking the whole thing.

Dressing Julian in one of those super cute Gymboree GIRL outfits, because the little dude doesn't know the difference.

Making a bonfire with each and every Cars, Spongebob and other ugly licensed tshirt my boys own.

Sporting a wig, I want to see what I would like to have long hair again.

Renewing my vows, just so that I can have a second chance at looking beautiful. I didn't feel like a princess on my wedding day, and I have always wanted to do it again.

Giving up on this blog.

Just kidding. Sort of.


  1. Don't give up on the blog!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT,,,,,

  2. Don't give up on the blog! :)

    Um, McDonald's has an egg nog milkshake?? THANK YOU for bringing this to my attention!

    I'm right there with you on maternal insanity... check out Friday's post. And I want a tummy tuck, too. Those celebrity elasti-girls who are on the cover of US Weekly in a bikini one month after giving birth can take a long walk off a short cliff.

  3. I second you on all of that! Well, except the Wiggie ashes thing - that'd be kind of weird for me to do.

  4. I hear you!! And don't give up your blog... who would make me laugh at the ridiculousness of the world every week?

  5. I totally hear you - especially on collecting all the toys in a big plastic bag, but in my fantasy I head straight out to the bin.I'm also big on the luxury hotel room for one fantasy.
    PS thanks for lovely, thoughtful comment on my blog! Jo X.

  6. You should totally check into a hotel to sleep- that sounds like a perfect afternoon to me.
    Don't give up your blog.