Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Dear Santa, Call me a Grinch

We had a list. For Santa that is. We worked on it, solidified it, confirmed it and sent it off to the North Pole. We agreed on this list. A smart list. A reasonable list. A fun list.

A Globe

Sponge Bob Legos

Star Wars Pajamas



Razor (scooter)

Lightning McQueen stuffed animal

Star Wars books

Check, Check and Check. Holiday Shopping done. Budget managed. Ho. Ho. Ho!

And then what? Yesterday the kid informs us he asked Santa for a hamster. A HAMSTER? A live hamster? One that needs to be fed? One that poops in his cage? One that might run away and get lost under our sofa before being eaten by our cat? Oye Vey. I had to nip this one in the bud. There will be no hamster. We have three boys. A dog. Two cats. We have enough living beings to care for and clean up after.

But he asked Santa for this. Directly. If Santa doesn't come through what does that mean for my little boy? An end to the magic? Dashed dreams? A future expectation for disappointment? This could be life changing.

How do I deal with this? What the hell do I know? I'm Jewish. As a kid, all I expected for Hanukkah was a Star of David stationary set purchased from the temple gift shop. So I put on my Santa/thinking cap and quickly told my son that I had personally written Santa and let him know that we could not accept any pets, and to please not send any.

Yup, I will take the heat for this one. I'll be the Grinch. Expectations managed. No hamsters.



  1. Just so you know hamsters are easy. Ok that's it, don't want you to feel guiltier than you might already feel.

    I do like a parent that can put their foot down. I am one of them (most of the time).

  2. I told you... zhu zhu pet. Tell him Santa didn't grasp that he wanted a REAL one :)

  3. Finn keeps asking for toys that don't actually exist (like a robot that has slinky arms and legs and can walk by itself) and tells me "don't worry, the elves will make them!". Yikes. I am hoping he is so excited by what he does find under the tree that he won't be too disappointed he is not getting exactly what he asked for...
    and we got a couple zhu zhu pets for xmas last year... and honestly, I think they are worse than a real hamster. I ended up sneaking them in the goodwill bag about 3 weeks after the holidays!!

  4. Oh, I love the zhu zhu pet suggestion--good one! Yeah, my kids kept asking for critters and I told them the direct line to Santa would have to put the kabash on that one. They figured they better ask for other things just in case or there might not be anything under the tree!! Happy Hanukkah to you!

  5. Tell zack Santa is not licensed to carry live animals on his sled and the hamster might freak out the reindeer.

  6. Genius move! That's one thing I would really dread about Christmas: the unbreakable request to Santa Claus. This simply doesn't exist in Judaism!