Breaking News From Kargas Inc Headquarters, Senior Leadership Vows To Slash Health Care Benefits In Attempt To Cut Spending.
Oakland, CA
Today Kargas Inc CEO, Rachel Kargas announced that the company has decided to significantly cut back on health care benefits for support staff. The impacted staff are all long-term, loyal employees, having put in as many as twelve years with the company. Understandably, staff is outraged with the announcement.
Kargas released the following statement; "While we regret this difficult decision, we have come to the conclusion that the overall health of the company is being negatively impacted by rising veterinarian, err...health care expenses, and we have to cut back somewhere. Quite honestly, we have been questioning the contributions of our lower level employees for some time now." Kargas cited several examples of recent medical bills the company has been asked to cover. One staff member informed the company that she would require nearly $1000 for a professional teeth cleaning which would require anaesthesia. Another employee requested a thyroid test with a $500 price tag. This employee who wished to remain anonymous told us that he believed his thyroid test was denied because of his age, and claimed that the company was retaliating because of property damage he caused (unintentionally) to company headquarters.
The effected employees are planning a strike, but this is unlikely to persuade Kargas Inc senior leadership who claim that the workers don't contribute anything more than their good looks and are highly replaceable.
A mediation between staff on management is scheduled for later this week.
LOL... I am heartless... it's about time. Don't hate me.
ReplyDeleteContact Wisconsin's governor, Scott Walker and his cronies, the Koch brothers. They have some good ideas. On Wisconsin!
ReplyDeleteWe were so luck in Colorado and El Paso to find veterinarians who were sensible and helpful. After getting a preliminary diagnosis of cancer with a $3k estimate from one vet, we went to another who said "Cancer? Probably not, let's try steroids first." $52 later, the 10-year-old dog was fine for another 5 years.
ReplyDeleteOur cat just cost us over $150 in antibiotics and steroids. Dude, he's 12. How much longer can this continue?
ReplyDeleteI hate vet bills too.... and they always seem to come in spurts!
ReplyDeleteI love your Kargas Inc. posts. And seriously -- 1000 bucks for teeth cleaning? What really drives me nuts is when you go in for something, they tell you what you "need" to do, you ask about other options, and then they give you the guilt trip. I honestly think they must teach that in a special class at Vet school now. Because the vet when I was a kid never did that. But then, he wasn't ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to encourage my children to grow up and clean the teeth of animals. In fact, if that's all they did... one mouth every day, 5 days a week... let's just say Mama better get some better Christmas gifts than the uncooked noodle necklace.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!!!
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