Monday, February 28, 2011

Diet Root Beer, Microwave Ovens, BRING IT ON!

Overheard standing in line at a local (read not Starbucks) coffee shop in North Berkeley:

One organic cotton tshirt wearing woman to another:

Lady #1"We haven't had a microwave in our house for five years now! It took me a while to convince my partner, but once we got used to it we didn't even miss it!"

Lady #2 "Oh yeah we are getting rid of ours too. Microwaves just can't be good for anyone!"

The two sensible women shake their heads in disgust at the thought of the evil artificial cooking contraption, then plop their reusable coffee mugs on the counter and order their soy lattes, of course. The conversation continued:

Lady #1 "You'll see, once you give up the microwave, you will rely less on all that processed food. We never eat anything from a box or a can anymore."

Lady #2 "I can imagine. Lucky for us we never really exposed our kids to any of that garbage. I don't think they have ever had mac & cheese from a box, so they don't ask for it."

Can you just see me rolling my eyes? I can only imagine what these chicks would think if they peaked into a day in the life of the Kargas family. Microwave pancakes. Gummy bear bribes. Kraft Dinner and... diet soft drinks. (Gasp!)

I have gotten so much better. We recycle and compost everything now! We have dwindled our weekly garbage down to about 2 bags, including diapers! (Don't start with me on cloth diapers.)

I'm trying.

I just don't know how these earth -loving families do it. I NEED my microwave. I don't have time to whip up a batch of fresh pancakes every morning, and no I will not set my alarm 15 minutes earlier to do it. Mama needs her rest.

I LOVE my diet root beer. Sue me.

I CAN'T deal with cloth diapers. Yuck.

I RELY on the conveniences of modern day life.

I'm getting so hot and bothered right now, I might just need to grab one of my sugar-free-jello cups and some cool whip to calm down.

I promise to put the plastic in the right bin.


  1. Those conversations make my skin crawl just based on the competetive nature of how good one can mother.

  2. LOL... I love this. I hear this all the time, too :) And you KNOW I use my microwave ;-) Even though I grew up here, I am so not "here".

  3. Haha. Soooo smug. And re: dangers of microwave ovens - where's the evidence? Huh?

  4. Give me a break, huh?! The microwave is like one of the family...just like the coffee machine, dishwasher and car...evil caffeine...water waster...and fossil fuel guzzler...

    ....and what about vaccines and flouride?!

    I'm all for the conveniences....and Diet sodas!

  5. Diet sodas HAVE been proven to be harmful. Just saying. I do love my microwave. Read the research on artificial sweeteners. Do I annoy you Rachel? I know I do!;)

  6. I've split the difference on the microwave. I use it, but I don't microwave in plastic (unless I forget!) Transferring to a glass dish or plate puts one more thing in the dishwasher, but that's not too bad. Oh heavens, is the dishwasher the next evil modern convenience? No, no, no ...

  7. I'm not giving up my diet soda, look at it this way, at least I don't smoke crack

  8. When we moved into this house, the dryer outlet didn't fit with our dryer's plug. So, we don't have a dryer to use. I line-dry EVERYTHING. People commend me for it, but I just want to say, "No, it's not awesome, it's a huge pain in the a$$! I want my energy-sucking dryer back!"

    There's a direct correlation between modern conveniences and sanity (in my completely uneducated and unresearched opinion). Obviously, those women in the coffee shop are insane. I think crack is technically organic. Maybe that's what they're smoking.

  9. I am never giving up my microwave. I'll just assume they are making the sacrifice so the rest of us don't have to. I also love my dishwasher, car, dryer, and other conveniences that seem a whole lot more like neccessities to me. :)

  10. I don't get it. I mean - NO microwave? How do they function? I'm running home and kissing mine. I have no shame.

  11. I'm a fellow worlds worst mom'er, and i can tell that you and i will get along just fine. The microwave is a vital appliance- what else would you heat up tv dinners with?
    p.s. I was just in SF last week, we are rather close! Well, a couple hours.

  12. i can't--or at least don't want to ever--live without my microwave! seriously!! we went six days without it recently when we had no power after cyclone yasi. i missed my internet, tv, toaster, and MICROWAVE! those are the things that really left a gaping hole in my little world during that week...