To the tanned half naked jogger from yesterday:
Yes, you are fit and athletic and I understand the temptation to show off the fruits of your labor, but dude, it is 50 degrees and drizzling, do you really need to take your shirt off? You're that hot? Come on. Have a slice of humble pie and put some clothes on.
To my children:
Listen I want to raise kids that are comfortable with bodies. I am not a prude, but boys I am starting to wonder if all this constant nudity is going to lead to social services knocking on my door. Can we at least put on underwear for taco night?
To the fool who hacked my hotmail:
Beware. I am consulting with a voodoo doctor shortly. You messed with the wrong mama.
To the barista at the coffee shop where I often work:
When I ask you about your favorite dessert, please do not shrug your skinny shoulders and say "the fruit cup". You're not going to make any friends that way.
To my blog readers:
Talk to me! Comment! Don't be so shy. I'm lonely.....
To the Senior Citizen creeper that tried to pick up on me at work last night by asking how my parents are (and the lame pick up lines after that) - go crawl back to your "home"!
ReplyDeletehaha-
ReplyDeleteLast night I was naked blogging in bed which is normal because I keep the ac higher on the upstairs unit during the day and turn it up when I 'move' upstairs after dinner- so it's hot when I first get to my room!
The monkeys were watching a film- when it was over they came in and I said hold on I'm going to put my jammies on- at which point my youngest goes - yeah no one wants to see you naked mom-
Um I can think of a FEW people who would like to see me naked and at least I don't have my hand down my pants most all the time BUDDY!
Still following your blog.... love it!
ReplyDeleteSo funny! The tanned, half naked jogger... somehow that just sounds not cute. I could be wrong but I seem to see the not too cute ones with the shirts off and the cute ones covered. Maybe it's just me!? And when you want the skinny armed barista to tell you the goo filled donut is the best choice, you get "fruit cup"...ah! Is there no justice!? Still following and reading along... love it!
ReplyDeleteI just stumbled onto your blog from a comment you made on Aging Mommy's post...love it! I'm cracking up because my very closest friend has two boys, 16 and 12, and they still wander the halls naked she says! Sorry to say, it may go on for a while..
ReplyDeleteGetRealMamma!
ReplyDeleteHysterical! My 8 year old boy, who still pees with the door open and runs totally naked from his room to the shower and back again had the nerve to say to me with attitude, "UHH Maaa-ummm, I need my privacy!" When I walked through his OPEN bedroom door.
My six year old boy said to me, "Mom, you don't wanna see THIS!" when he pulled his underpants down to change into his swim trunks.
Also - here is a "I feel ya" shout out to Ren, Lady of the Arts. I don't let 6 year old dude touch me without my asking, "Have you washed your hands?" Because his hand has been down his pants since he was 10 months old.
Thanks for the comment on http://killsuperwoman.blogspot.com. I really appreciate it!!
CJ
Last thought - to the older man in McDonald's who ruined a perfectly good conversation by saying, "My youngest daughter is about your age, she's 45.." when I was just 39 years old, Even though I am 43 now, I am still laying in the cut for you!
ReplyDelete(the translation of that back in the day philly speak is - one day, I will see you back in that McDonalds and I will beat you down..." So what if he is about 80!
NOBODY's favorite dessert is the fruit cup.
ReplyDeleteAt least the half-naked guy was fit and had fruits of labor to show!
ReplyDeleteThat is so funny with the barista and the fruitcup! Ha! Come and join my new network of amazing bloggers at Mama's Little Nestwork! Visit www.mamaslittlenestwork.com. have a great night!
ReplyDeleteMama Hen
LOL you are hilarious! loving the humor and goodness here....pleased to meet ya!
ReplyDeleteOkay, I'm commenting! We're the naked house, and so far no social services. But I hear you on the underwear at dinner. Did you ever see that Sex and the City episode where Charlotte's husband walks around naked everywhere and sits on her white furniture? I thought I was going to pee my pants. In which case, as far as the couch goes, being naked or not probably wouldn't have mattered. Anyway, yes, put on some underwear when you eat tacos!
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