Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Check it twice

There is a nightly ritual. Things that must happen in preperation for bed. There is a significant price to pay should one forget. Last night I forgot.

What should happen:

  • Bath.

  • Teeth. Each child must have a Spiderman toothbrush. Blue for Evan. Red for Zack.

  • Children carefully select pajamas (usually insisting on the filthy ones in the hamper) and dress. *Special note, since Zachary is apparently going to wet his bed into adolescence, a pull up is required.

  • Each child selects a book. Mommy gently guides away from the three chapter Cars book and the impossibly long Red Fish Blue Fish, and encourages more palatable reading.

  • Evening entertainment is provided. Story time, then 3 lullabies by mama.

  • Each child retrieves their "guys" for bedtime. For Zachary this means Nooderz the Kangaroo, Mr. Brown Doggie and Bob Bear. Evan has, Kangaroo (formally known as 9910), Valentine's Day Doggie, each of his identical polar bears and his usually dirty beat up Ikea pillow.

  • Good night kisses.

  • Lights Off, Ipod on-(Dan Zane's "Night Time" )

Last night's critical mistakes:

  • Zachary dressed himself, I failed to notice the lack of pull up.

  • Evan's Kangaroo (formerly known as 9910) was nowhere to be found, so by the grace of God, somehow we convinced him to go to sleep sans Kangaroo.

The end result:

  • 1:30am we awaken to Zachary crying. A wet bed. Pajamas must be changed. Child must now sleep on the floor of our bedroom.

  • Evan, awakened by all of the commotion remembers the absence of Kangaroo. He spends the next twenty minutes moaning Kangawoo! Knagawoo! We are too tired to get out of bed to continue the investigation of the missing stuffed toy. So we listen to him whimper and pray that our nanny knows his whereabouts.

  • I am unable to fall back to sleep until 3.

Tonight I will not forget.


  1. Boy what a clever post rachel. how do you come up with these things?

  2. gee, self, thanks for the comment. I have no idea, but thanks for reading.

  3. Aw man!
    One of my monkeys has to wear a pull up and he will sometimes forget- the thing is, it never bothers him when he is wet in piss- Kangwoo!

  4. wow, i'm impressed with your bedtime ritual. and you even sing three songs every night? good job mama. and i love zack's little omission... oops. i swear when levi's old enough to dress himself we will have to follow-up his "dressing" with duct tape. that kid's already trying to bust into his diaper. i have visions of the crib and surrounding walls smeared in... brown. ugh. hope you have a better sleep tonight!!!

  5. Sometimes those bed time rituals border on OCD don't you think? (or a manipulating ruse to drag out the 'say goodnight' period?) My daughter at 4 had to ride a little 'car' the whole two metres from her bed to the book shelf, spend ten minutes choosing the book, put book in little car's seat storage compartment (ie lift seat off pack book in) drive the two metres back to the bed, retrieve book, get into bed. I was half mental by the time we began reading and if I interupted this ritual she had to start from the beginning again. It was nuts!!!! But now she is 11 I would do anything to go back for a night and enjoy that little bit of nuttiness with her.....

  6. This was a funny post, but what made it even funnier was that you talked to yourself in the comments. Love it!