Sunday, August 8, 2010

In the mirror

I hate this picture. Hate it. So it is surprising that I am posting it on my blog. Why would I place this unflattering photograph of myself up for all of you lovely visitors to view? Because I was inspired by an old high school friend's facebook status update. It said:

"The other day my daughter said she “was playing with her friend in the mirror” and it got me thinking…. When was the last time I saw a “friend”in the mirror?....."

Good question. Because when I see this picture, or when I view this face in a mirror my thoughts are something similar to: "Your arms look fat. Look at those laugh lines. Your teeth are too yellow. Your smile is too big. Your eyes are too droopy, and your face lacks definition. You look old." God help me when I get in front of a full length mirror.

So is that a friend? Hardly. I would never speak those words to a friend. Can you imagine? No if I were sitting across from that girl in the picture, I might complement her on her earrings or her sassy haircut. I would find something positive to share with her.

And yet everyday I criticize myself. I am not pretty enough. I need to do sit ups. I talk too much. I talk too loud. I am a terrible housekeeper. I have cellulite. I am lazy. The list goes on and on. If any friend talked to me like that, I would give her a nickname. Bitch.

I don't want to be a bitch. It's time to be kinder.
It's time to be a friend.


  1. I couldn't agree with you more!!!

  2. Great post! It's so much easier to just avoid the mirror and be myself (avoid the negative thoughts,that is).

  3. You raise a good point....we all need to be better friends to ourselves. It's hard, though! I have to say, as a very new follower, that I love the smile in your pic, your arms look awesome, outfit is cute, and you look very friendly!
    Now go tell that lady in the mirror to stop being bitchy to you! Ha ha...

  4. Speaking as one who is up at 4am because I can't stop thinking about all the things I didn't get done for work, I would extend the "be a friend to yourself" message to our work selves, as well. When I am less critical of myself and my performance, I am soooo much easier to get along with at work. When I'm hypercritical of myself, I know my negativity spreads to others.

  5. Great post. I would simply say to the lady in that photo what a happy smile and that she looks like someone worth getting to know and that if anyone says otherwise well, they are best ignored :-)

  6. This is a great post, and not just for my own ego reasons. When my wife read that she asked me “are you depressed” and I said, no honey it’s just that beating myself up for aging, or gaining weight, or not being a super star has just become the norm these days and that is just silly. If I can love others flaws and forgive others mistakes, it time to be a little easier on myself. And you too! And personally, I like the picture.