Sunday, May 8, 2011

Boys, a little guilt trip.....

To my sons Zachary and Evan,

I am writing this on Mother's Day, May 8 2011 with the intent of sending this to you on an annual basis just before this very holiday each year. The purpose? To remind you why you owe me. To play the guilt card and gently suggest that you do something nice for the woman who gave you life.

This weekend was suppose to be a fun filled, family mini vacation in Monterey. I had high hopes for our little get away. I planned activities I thought we all would enjoy. A visit to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. An evening in a hotel with a pool. Ice cream in a tourist city. It should have been grand.

But you boys were ROTTEN. Down right bad. Clearly you failed to read the instructions I laid out clearly for you in my last post. I provided you with five easy steps to ensure we all had a happy Mother's Day. You failed to follow most of them . Although I got a spa gift card from your father, and some handmade gems from you, you misjudged the importance of my other requests. What about the card with the long list of why I am an amazing mother? I had a girlfriend post a quotation from her own five year old's card. Her child said something like "Mommy I love you so much because you are so nice, and take me on play dates and make me good food and give the best hugs." I got a note with one word. Pirate.

I also kindly asked you to refrain from fighting, whining and crying, yet that's exactly how you both spent most of the weekend.The aquarium was a total bust. We should have known better than to visit on a Saturday. The entire attraction was packed with families, making it difficult to see the exhibits and keep track of two spastic boys running in different directions, yelling something about hating their brother. Meals at even the most family friendly restaurants were pure torture. Whining about entree selection, throwing waded up napkins at fellow diners, and screaming "I hate you mommy" before the meals even arrived. Not fun.

Boys, you also got the timing wrong. I requested that our day of family fun begin no earlier than 9am, yet you selected 6am. 6am! Isn't mommy suppose to get some extra sleep on her special day? Didn't I read something about breakfast in bed somewhere? We were in a hotel, but it seems like perhaps you could have mustered up extra effort to pamper mommy on this very important day. Nope. Up and at them. You boys were hungry so we opted for the bland hotel continental breakfast with bad coffee.

And now, rather than attempt another disastrous family meal, I am hiding in my office while the two of you eat a dinner of frozen pizza while your dad pulls his hair out. I am sitting up here feeling fairly angry that we wasted the money on this terrible weekend, and wondering what I have done wrong. Why wasn't this weekend wonderful? Why didn't you love hanging out by the ocean? Why didn't I get hugs and kisses? Why do you keep telling me that you hate me?

Next year no expectations.

Happy Mother's Day indeed.

So my dearest boys, by the time you read this you will be older. Old enough to know how to honor your mother in a special way. Diamonds will do.

Your Mother


  1. Awwww, I'm sorry your weekend didn't pan out as hoped. At least you got something homemade yes? (even if it's one word)

  2. Sending you a very understanding hug! Next year will be better, and the next and the next... Those boys just don't understand how great a mommy they really have, not yet... but they will. And your MOTHER OF HONOR badge can be worn with pride today, and every day no matter how the boys behave. I'm sure they will surprise you with sweetness of some kind soon and melt your heart all over again. Until then... thinking of you and knowing you are not alone! =)

  3. I think the best Mother's Day is spent without one's children. So far I've spent the first two without my son. No big gifts are needed. I don't even need a card. But I get peace, quiet and time. Next year I highly recommend you try it out!!!

  4. Pirate???????? Oh dear.
    I agree with the post above. Time alone perhaps. I took my partner aside on saturday and said in case you haven't bought me anything I bought something and you are to wrap it up with our little boy and encourage the concept of appreciation. To my surprise they said they had bought something! Personally from now on I'm LIFTING my expectations and letting that be known to those who are in a position to do something about it! :)

  5. You one has too many expectations....there is always a disappointment...

    perfect end though!!

  6. I think next year's mother's day celebration should be a day spent for yourself! Spa, shopping, things you like to see and do. Hubs gift can be to watch the kids! Bliss!

  7. sorry your day was rotten. My Mother's Day was lovely but today has been a living hell. AT least I am not the only one struggling with my kids!

  8. haha- hope you get your diamonds- I lucked out- only one monkey was a pain. The funny thing is- you know they will always remember it as a fun weekend-

  9. Here's how I solved the "I hate you" issue. I told my son that he didn't have to be disrespectful to me to prove that he loved his father. (I had observed that the phrase seemed to materialize shortly after the I love my dad more than you phase came in.)

    I haven't heard I hate you since. He was about 8 at the time, and I'd been putting up with that nonsense way too long.

  10. Aw, I'm sorry your Mother's Day was terrible. If I'd known you were in MBay, I would have brought you some flowers with a card. But not in pirate. :)

  11. Loe the twist on the mushy letter to the kids, Rachel! Sounds like my life!