I am having a fabulous weekend, and it HURTS. I see everything in a different light now. I see it as loss. Look what great friends you have Rachel, in three weeks, your going to be alone. Look what a great neighborhood you have, in a few weeks-it will all be different.
Last night Shannon and I went out for girls night downtown. It was wonderful, kind of like the old days, but not exactly. When I first moved to Denver Shannon quickly became my closest friend. She and Darren lived directly across the street from us. Neither of us had children and we all had a taste for Coors Light and a good Rockies game under the sun. We started spending most weekends together, and would often get together mid-week for a American Idol and cheap pizza. They were good friends, and easy friends. We never fought, we were neighbors, and we developed a very un-fussy friendship. Over the years, the bonds tightened. We went on vacation together to Costa Rica and had a truly amazing time, full of sun, pina coladas and laughter. I cherish that memory. We had our first babies around a year apart from each other, and then by total surprise were pregnant with our second at exactly the same time, the boys were born two days apart. Shannon was there for me in my darkest postpartum colicky baby moments. We became stay-at-home moms together and joined the same "June babies" playgroup. We both transitioned from partying-DINKS, to coupon snipping parents. So last night we got dolled up and went to my favorite champagne bar on Larimer Square and sat on the patio sipping cocktails. There were a few tears, but mostly we just had fun. We finished off the night in a reenactment of a drunken night out many years ago-ordering two desserts apiece at The Market.
Today was a cool, gray, fall Saturday. Dave went to the mountains with the guys for a golf/poker weekend, and I took Zack and Evan to the annual Sunnyside Music Festival. As soon as we arrived I found our neighbors and sat down to lunch with them. Moving on I met my friend Amy with Luke & Ella, and the kids bounced in the bounce house together, we sat and listened to our favorite local children's music-sensation "Anya and the Music Train", we found Darren there who snuck me a little Baily's for my coffee. It was that feeling of totally fitting in, knowing everyone, being home.
I finished off the day at Gelmans for dinner with Amy, Luke & Ella. I adore that woman. She at first seemed an unlikely friend. She was married to David's coworker, Bill (whom I also adore). They were a little older than us, and and when I first met her, I thought of her as a simply Dave's co-worker's wife. That certainly changed. We also got pregnant at the same time, she had her twins a few Dave's before Zachary was born. For the first few months after the babies arrived we would get together weekly, annoying waiters with our strollers and requests for bottles of warm water to mix with formula, we joined a Music Together class, and met up for an occasional glass of wine sans offspring. She quickly became one of my most admired and loved friends. She is an amazing mother, and an incredibly giving woman. Tonight we shared a hectic meal out, complete with a screaming-food-throwing-Evan, and dinner entrees that took over 45 minutes to arrive at our table. But we had fun, and we were happy to be out together with our mess, rather than at home alone.
What a full, wonderful weekend. How much I am leaving behind. How empty that feels.