Friday, April 12, 2013

The "Carrot"

Yesterday was Zachary's science fair and school open house. The whole family went to see Zack's project and tour his classroom. He was very proud and excited. So was I.

He happily showed his dad, brothes and I around his crowded classroom. His teacher had their work on display and we walked around looking at Zack's drawings, experiments, and work. His teacher pulled me aside and urged me to take a look at Zack's essay on spring. She informed me that he wrote ten pages, and at a third or fourth grade level. I admit it, I felt pride.

The whole family gathered to view his piece of writing genious.
"I like spring becasue it is warm."
"I like spring because I can play baseball and celebrate Easter."
"I like spring because my brother's birthdays are in spring."
"I like spring because I can go hiking with my dad and my brothers."
"I like sprin...."

Wait what? You go hiking with your dad and your brothers? My heart sank. Wasn't someone missing from that piece of writing? To be ommitted stung, yet I shrugged it off, it was probably just a simple oversight.

We took home a giant stack of Zachary's work and I started reviewing it with him this morning. Spelling tests, book reports, math assignments and more essays.

The next essay was about winter.

"I like winter because of the snow."
"I was born in Colorado and it snows there."
"I  made snowballs in Colorado."
"I would build snowmen and kick down icicles with my dad."
"I like winte...."

There it was again. With my dad. No mention of mom. Had he forgotten when I took them sledding at my father's Christmas party? Had he forgotten how I took him to music classes every friday for three years? How I planned each of his birthday parties? Where was mom in this picture? Where?

So I asked him. He quickly apologized and I could tell he felt badly. I told him it was fine and I went up to take my shower...wounded.

After my shower he presented his paper to me again. "Actually mom, I added you with a "carrot." And there I was scrawed in,
a little triangle pointing up to "and mom." He added me in. Kind of him really, he has empathy no doubt, but the troubling factor remains, he forgot me to begin with. His teacher must think I'm never around. I am absent from his memories.

He has always been a daddy's boy. Always, save a few brief moments as a baby.  I have to work harder.

So Saturday afternoon, I am taking my eldest son for a hike. Just the two of us. No brothers, no daddy. Quality MOMMY time.

I don't want to be just a carrot any more.


  1. You handled that very well. Good you get some time alone with him.

  2. Welcome to my life, all the time. Mom gets mobbed coming in the door, I barely get a head turned from whatever electronic device has them entranced. All three boys try to pile on her while we're watching a movie. Someone has to be forced to go sit by dad. We have to convince them to let dad read books tonight. All despite the fact that I'm the one that instigates all the fun things! *sigh* Can't take it personally! They love us, we know it, they know it, that's all that really matters. :-)

  3. awwww, I think some alone time will be perfect for the two of you. But, the way I see it is that we do so much for the kids that they just take us for granted. I feel like Finn remembers Todd at all of the special weekend events because he isn't around as much during the week for the regular day to day stuff. You are a great mama and are way more than a carrot.