Translation Please

"Ahhh..girgglegirggle..gaahhh....arrrrraaaah"

To my uneducated ears, those sounds are merely adorable, however perhaps they have greater meaning...

Translation:

"Hurry up with the food! Speaking of food I have noticed that the milk has been tasting faintly of Cabernet. Don't you know that I'm a whiskey guy? I am. Please adjust accordingly. Also, I have to inform you that I am not crazy about your musical selections. Dan Zanes? Andy Z? And worse yet, Daddy sometimes forces us all to listen to the Decemberists. No, I prefer the jazz standards. Duke Ellington, Miles Davis, Billie Holiday. And do tell, what on earth is up with those two noisy brutes you have running around here, half naked most of the time? Where did you find those barbarians? Someone needs to teach those boys some manners! And pardon me, but that was not gas! I was in fact smiling. God only knows why."

Cute huh?