Friday, November 20, 2009
I have a big ol' bruise on my forehead. It hurts. I got it while I was cleaning our toilet. I was bending over and the lid fell down and whacked me in the head. I saw stars. I knew it was going to leave a mark. Glamours I thought. Figures. I get injured performing my housewife duties. I feel as though it is a perfect metaphor for my lousy week. I just feel a little beat up tonight. It has been a difficult week. Maybe a little empty after my busy weekend with Shannon & Heather. I had several play dates and get togethers planned, but all but a few fell through due to illness or whatever else comes up in everybody's busy lives. I spent time with Evan at the park observing mostly nannies and their client's children, or people meeting up for play dates. Everyone seemed content but I felt, well lonely, and useless. Sure, I am taking care of my kids, but I have to admit I feel lazy and a little alone. The shiny newness of the city has worn off, as has my enthusiasm and energy for searching out new friends. I'm tired. The rejection is getting to me. I'm bored. I want to feel a purpose. I need a hobby. I need a job. The market stinks. I haven't looked hard for a position, but the options seems sparse. Eventually I'll have to get off my rear and do something, to change the situation, but tonight I feel like licking my wounds and wallowing a little.