Saturday, October 17, 2009

Shabbat Shalom

I am feeling a little disjointed and disoriented today. I am not sure what to post about. Perhaps the beautiful weekend we are having, complete with sunny weather, a lovely lunch at the lively "cheese board" in the gourmet ghetto (which had a great crowd and a live jazz band) , and a walk on the pier at the Berkeley Marina. Or maybe I could write about Zack's new preschool at the Jewish Community Center, where we celebrated Zack's first Shabbat on Friday. Zack enjoyed the experience so much he told his father that evening "Today is a special day, it is Shabbat, we celebrated it at Preschool. Do you want to do Shabbat tomorrow?" Or I could fill you in on the cowboy hat wearing, hippy mother of one of Zachary's new classmates who came on way too strong, wanting to create a weekly childcare swap right out of the gate. (Trying to find the heart to tell her no, I am embracing the stay-at-home bit for the time being and the last thing I want to do is open a part -time in home daycare in my home for her benefit.)

Things are happening very quickly. I feel a bit like I am riding a crashing wave, I am in the rising up right now, in the honeymoon sort of stage, the place is exciting and full of wonderful things to do. I feel almost euphoric as I explore the area with Evan and Zack, and I am actually enjoying the freedom and the anonymity of knowing almost no one. I am just bracing for the crash, and worrying that I'll feel a crushing sense of loneliness and loss as the months grow colder, and everything looses it's novelty. For now though, I want to embrace the fact that I am happy, and starting a brand new life. A blank slate.

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