The times, they are a changing.
This mama is going back to work FULL TIME. IN AN OFFICE.
This is a big deal. I went back to working full time after my eldest was 12 weeks, and my maternity leave was completed. That lasted only a couple of months before my mama heartstrings were pulled and I felt that I needed more time with my cute little bundle of wonderful. So I cut back to a four days per week schedule. I had Friday's off for mommy and me classes, play groups, and errands. I cherished those Fridays, and I don't for a second regret that decision. In the years since his birth my work schedule has fluctuated, particularity as we added brother #2 and brother #3. I experimented with staying at home full time, which while was an *epic fail* taught me a few things. One, I'm not crafty. I'm not going to be the kind of stay at home mama who sews awesome dinosaur Halloween costumes, makes bento box lunches that artfully craft food to resemble Dora The Explorer, or uses recycled egg cartons to create anything. Second, I get bored easily. I can only read that God damn Lighting McQueen book so many times before I start to lose it. My attention span for playing Hotwheels is about 3.2 minutes. Third, I'm claustrophobic and I like to spend money way, way way too much. "Staying at home" meant one too many $250 purchases at Target, just to..."get out." So over the next few years I did contract and part time work. Most recently I have worked somewhere between 24-32 hours a week, from home and while in many ways it has been wonderful, it has also left me feeling lonely and unfulfilled. I have felt as though I was straddling two worlds, part stay at home mom, part working mom, but I didn't quite fit into either category. Too busy and stressed to volunteer for the PTA and not dedicated enough to advance my career. I knew that something had to give.
I am a recruiter, a woman who has always derived her energy from interacting with others. While working from home afforded me amazing flexibility which has been nice for my family, it has slowly sucked the life out of me. I need to be around people. Specifically grown-ups. And while I dearly love my children, I feel the need to be in the workforce. I want face to face adult relationships, staff meetings and occasional happy hours. I want to feel I'm a valuable player on an awesome team. I want to get the hell out of my ratty yoga pants and into a decent pair of heels.
So I did it. I accepted a full time recruiting gig with a great company. I have an office in downtown Denver. I will have coworkers, business cards and occasional travel. I am thrilled. Excited. And yes a little scared. Change is scary. Will I be successful? Will my kids be happy? Will I? Does this decision make me a bad mother?
I'm a firm believer that reasonable risk is a good thing. This is a big step, and a bit of a risk, but I'm ready. I'm ready for a change. I'm ready to leave my basement and reenter the world. I'm ready to take the leap of faith, that if I am happier and more fulfilled, my family will reap the benefits too.
So cheers to all of you moms and dads out there who have made these difficult decisions for yourselves. Cheers to the stay at home dads, the part time working moms, the parents who don't have a choice and those that decide to work outside the home. We all try and do what's best for our families, and we will keep trying until we get it right.
I feel I have made the right decision. I'm feel excited about this next chapter in my life. I feel....good!