Sunday, August 4, 2013

Secrets of a girls night out

A few days ago I was chatting with a male friend. I told him that I had a "girls night out" planned and he recoiled in horror. "Those nights scare me. What do women talk about when we aren't around?" I sensed fear.  My response: It's Top Secret.

But it got me to thinking... what is it about a girls night that women crave so much? How do we change, if at all, when the men folk are absent?

So I did an informal poll of my girlfriends and asked them what they chatted about over cocktails sans significant others, and of course I did my own research yesterday when I joined three other women at local hot-spot, Linger for an evening out. Here is what I found:

We don't talk about sports. At all. Unless you include our children's athletic endeavors, but that's mostly just bitching about lost weekend mornings and endless parent "volunteer" opportunities.

We talk a hell of a lot about fitness and our bodies. We talk about our upcoming races, our boot camps, our baby bellies and our newly acquired wrinkles.

We talk about cosmetic surgery. We know that while most of our partners would love it if we looked 22 forever, they shudder at the expense of nips, tucks and injections because after all, youthful beauty doesn't come cheap and they want to retire someday. So we plot in the privacy of a book club, a dimly lit bar or over coffee and scones with the girlfriends who understand.

Sex is a mixed bag. One of my girlfriends (who will remain anonymous) rolled her eyes when I brought up the topic "I already have to do it once a week" she grumbled "Why should I waste time talking about it too? Others  jump at the opportunity to talk about their intimate lives, married women discussing how to "spice it up" and the single girls describing their new lovers. Now boys, stop looking so worried, all this chatter and information sharing may actually work to your benefit....

We talk about politics, our careers, our families, our dreams and fantasies. We discuss our plans, our disappointments, worries and insecurities.   We talk about the things our husbands are tired of hearing about and we look for a fresh perspective.

We also do a fair amount of listening, providing a platform for the woman who needs it most. The woman recently divorced, sick or worried. Sometimes you need the kind of love and empathy you can only get from a good girlfriend.

So yes we share a lot of personal information and talk about things that would make some "boys" uncomfortable. But husbands, boyfriends, lovers stop worrying and trust me when I say there are some things we do keep to ourselves. There are the moments,  the words and the feelings between a man and a woman that are locked in our memory and held there just for you. We love you too, but sometimes guys, a mani/pedi  and a vodka soda is just
more fun with a chick.


  1. Ahhhh, cosmetic surgery. One day, when I win the lottery, I'll look FABULOUS!

  2. I like when Julie goes to girls night out. It resets expectations and provides an outlet for my wife to vent. Julie talks to her friends and is reminded that all the other husbands have similar behaviors to mine, both the good and the bad

  3. I love Linger! Girl's nights are the best. They are the only way we survive motherhood. A night when we are off the hook from responsibility for a few hours. I know especially when I was nursing, these nights were my solace.

  4. Linger. I saw that on-line when I was looking up rooftop restaurants in Colorado. I am going to be visiting my hubby (he is in training in Colorado for 2 weeks) this weekend for 2 nights. What are the absolute must-see, must-do, must-eat places? Both Denver / Boulder area. :) THANKS!