Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Kargas Inc. CEO "Shocked" that she can't terminate herself.

Kargas Inc CEO, Rachel Kargas, whom we previously reported was going crazy, issued a statement yesterday that she was "shocked" at her inability to fire herself.

 In an unprecedented move, Ms Kargas, referred to affectionately by employees as "mom"  tried to terminate herself for cause when she was informed by the company's CFO and Board of Directors that she was unable to do so. A shocked Ms Kargas released the following statement:

"Look at this organization. It's falling apart. I am failing as your leader, I haven't come up with a creative craft, produced a meal that resembles a clown, boat or smiley face or successfully broken up a fight in months. Clearly I am not fit to be your CEO. I can hardly keep myself properly groomed."  Ms. Kargas  did appear disheveled for her interview.

Apparently it is impossible for Ms. Kargas to fire herself from the organization, and in fact their are legal implications should she simply abandon her small company. Ms. Kargas was also informed that she is under a binding contract through 2029 and cannot quit her position until it expires.

Thus, even if the CEO is having difficulties fulfilling her duties (employees report backlogs of laundry, and a frequently barren refrigerator) it looks as if she is with Kargas Inc for long-haul.


  1. Is there a union rep you could talk too? Oh wait, you're management. Call Scott walker. Hell know what to do to help you abandon your job.

  2. It's August, honey. We ALL want to be fired. Hang in there another few days and your life will return to "normal."