Wednesday, June 5, 2013

People I Want To Punch In The Face

Because I know it's your favorite.... PEOPLE I WANT TO PUNCH IN THE FACE!

This week it's..

Drivers who see me standing at the crosswalk with two antsy little boys and a baby in a stroller and continue to plow on through as if the laws don't apply to them. Most days I wait for ages at the crosswalk on MacArthur, the street I must cross every single day in order to deposit my eldest child at school. While I can understand an occasional car missing the crosswalk, my guess is that most drivers traverse this street on a daily basis and know damn well where the crosswalk is  but simply can't be bothered with the safety of small children. What is worse, once in a while, I will have a driver stop just short of the crossing, sigh heavily, roll their eyes and give me an annoyed wave as if I am causing them so much terrible inconvenience.

Lego marketers. I'm sorry but since when do all legos need to come in branded sets? Cars. Ninjago. Star Wars. Each set comes with ten million tiny parts, which if any one piece is lost the set becomes unusable. And don't forget the 45 page instruction manual. Seriously, I know it is helping to sell Legos, but whatever happened to, oh I don't know...IMAGINATION?????

The snarky person who left a comment on an older Punch-In-The-Face blog, telling me I was a bitter and envious woman. Well Duh. But did you have to point it out for the rest of the world to see? Geesh.

The nurse who rolled her eyes and lectured me when I informed her that I did not wish to be weighed at my appointment. "It's always you little girls" she hissed. "Now I am going to have to write down that you refused"  Wow. I hate to put you out Nurse Ratched. Excuse me for looking out for my own mental health. Good Lord.

The snotty twenty-something at the coffee shop who raised her eyebrows and smirked saying, "nice t-shirt" referring to my  super-duper awesome Wonder Woman t-shirt. Excuse me? Are you really going to publicly ridicule me for my clothing when you have an incredibly lame butterfly tattoo on your cleavage? You are going to regret that some day sugar.... just sayin'


  1. You read my mind on every point! And I have to say, the t-shirt is awesome.

  2. The other day at the JCC, an elderly woman told me that my tattoos were disgusting. She had a tracheotomy and was holding a pack of cigarettes. Bad news for twenty something chick is that she probably won't get any more polite as she gets older.

  3. I love this people-i-want-to-punch-in-the-face thing! I don't think it makes you sound bitter at all. It makes you sound pretty real. There are many people I would love to punch in the face too! Specifically drivers who put my family in danger on the road because they don't have any regard for safety or the rules of the road. I wish I had Go Go Gadget arms so I could reach into their cars and punch them in the face for stupidity and for endangering my family!

  4. You are sooo right about the legos! I just want to buy 2000 generic legos so my kiddos can build whatever they want. Like I did

  5. Oh my gosh, the time I spent peering at the Lego instructions - all in diagrams so they wouldn't be bothered with translations - trying to figure out the difference between one illustration and the next so I could find the impossible tiny part! Not quite blocks when you can do it wrong, eh?
    About the scale, I've had this "discussion" many times with nurses who insist that weight is one of my vitals and must be obtained. There are other vital signs and they only need three. I have turned around on the scale many times; sometimes I just close my eyes. It's ridiculous. Scale as tyranny.

  6. HA HA HA friggen ha!!! whERE have you been all my blogging life! Hilarious!!!!! and so bloody true!