Suggestion: As a mid-level employee, I feel that we are too top heavy and that we need to hire additional staff to take on some of the entry-level responsibilities (i.e. toy organization.) I would like to suggest that leadership hire another baby brother! -Evan
CEO Response:
No.
Suggestion:
The four-legged administrative staff is over-burdened and they would benefit from additional support. We recommend a guinea pig. We promise we would help in mentoring him! Pinky swear! -Zachary & Evan
CEO Response:
No.
Suggestion:
Senior management seems to lack empathy regarding some personal employee issues. Staff members have experienced significant loss over the years, with little acknowledgment from leadership. We feel that the company's bereavement policy should include time off when a beloved action figure or stuffed animal has been cruelly dismembered, crushed, or kidnapped. Time off for such tragedy is required for good mental health. Bereavement leave should include a two week reprieve from all cleaning, vegetable eating and disciplinary action. During bereavement senior leadership should do all that they can to ensure the impacted staff member is comfortable. This will likely mean purchasing new toys and supplying the employee with plenty of candy.-Zachary
CEO Response:
Who do you think "kidnapped" the one-armed Captain America Doll?
Suggestion:
Is Kargas Inc. not an equal opportunity employer? I have been a victim of all kinds of discriminatory behavior just because I am a practicing Fruititarian. I believe the following reasonable accommodations should be made for me: 1) All meals should include 4 fruit courses, and dessert. 2) I should never be required to eat protein, vegetables or any dairy products with the exception of chocolate milk. If you fail to comply with my requests I will file a complaint with the EEOC. -Evan
CEO Response:
Fruititarian is not a protected class or a disability. Eat your broccoli and shut up.
Let your staff know that there will be an on-site visit from the Midwest headquarters. We know how to handle "suggestions". Next. Next thing you know they'll want to unionize, and do you know what Wisconsin does two unions
ReplyDeleteI needed to make a few corrections, , but I didn't get an editing option.
ReplyDeleteI would totally eat 4 fruit courses and dessert. I side with Evan.
ReplyDeleteLOL! There must be some law for fruitetarians. Poor Evan! I think my kid might also be one. Fruit and sweets are all he will eat!
ReplyDeleteWow,couldn't help notice that CEO was pretty quick to dismiss Evan's first suggestion..... :)
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