Saturday, December 29, 2012

Santa, The Follow Up Letter

Dear Santa,

I hope you had a really nice Christmas. I had a good time. I really liked the presents that you gave me. Did you like the cookies that we left?

We had fun. We could not wait to open our presents! The best present you gave me was a chemistry set, just like I asked for! I am a little mixed up though.  The card said that the present was from you, but the box said Toys R Us. Did you buy my present at the store? I thought that the elves made the gifts....

I don't want to hurt your feelings Santa,  but the remote control helicopter you gave me doesn't work very well. I think that your elves may have been half-asleep when they put this one together. Mom and Dad were mumbling about Elf quality control and wondering what we should do. Should we send it back to the North Pole? Would you have to make a whole special trip out with the reindeer to bring me a new one? That seems like a lot of trouble.

Also, I am wondering... if you know when we have been bad or good... why did you give my brother Evan presents? I am pretty sure he should have received coal. I don't understand how you missed that one, but I am starting to question your judgement....

Do you know that some kids don't even believe in you? They say that you are make believe. There are an awful lot of fake Santa's out there, you know. I see them everywhere, at the Farmer's Market, at the movie theater and the shopping mall. Am I really suppose to believe that Santa is in all of these places at once? I am seven now. I know a fake Santa when I see one, and I see them everywhere!

Finally Santa, I have to ask, how exactly did you know what I wanted for Christmas?  I wrote a letter, but I found it later in Mommy's desk drawer, she never sent it! Do you read minds? I just don't get it.

Anyways, thanks Santa, for all of the presents. Next year, keep a closer eye on your Elves, and Evan.



  1. Love this! Maya made me PROMISE to tell her the truth, and then she asked me if the Tooth Fairy was real or if I left her the money. I spilled the truth. It was a hard day.

  2. seems to be the year of questioning. Somehow, the forged Santa signature and the mess of dirt and chewed up carrots the reindeer left on the kitchen floor have captivated even my 13-year old. At least, that's what they're saying ;-) Zachary's one sharp kid!

  3. lol. i am sure i only have a year or two until i start to get these questions as well.

  4. A lot of this wouldn't be a problem if Santa hadn't started outsourcing to China.

    We're in the throws of Santa questioning. My 10 yo is DYING to keep believing, but he's also at at moral/logical/theological/existential crossroads on the entire subject. Poor guy. And I feel like a complete asshole for continuing the charade.