Friday, September 6, 2013

Single Mama Drama

I am trying to write a blog post. So many ideas have come to mind over the past week, but honestly I am just too exhausted. The husband has been traveling with great frequency over the past few months, leaving me the single mom who doesn't really ever get much of a break. 
Not so happy after a 7 hour road trip

There are times that I truly enjoy being on my own with the kids. There is a sense of freedom when I don't have coordinate schedules and consult with anyone else on dinner, music or television options. To be honest I'm married to Super Dad, and when he is gone I don't have to compete for the boys attention. I feel like I do some of my best parenting when I'm flying solo. Yet, it does grow exhausting. From the moment I hang up on my last call of the day until the nanny arrives the next morning it's all me. It's all me for dinner, dishes, laundry, lunch packing, conflict resolution, bath time, middle of the night sheet changes, breakfast, more conflict resolution, diaper changing, dressing, negotiating, backpack finding and more conflict resolution. I'm beat. And when my husband finally does return from his business trip I find myself wanting to hide in my room rather than participate in anymore family time. 

It is also a rather lonely place to be. All those nights where there is nobody to commiserate with after dinner went uneaten and you were hit in the head with a Hot Wheel hurled by an angry five year old. Often when the phone call comes from Dallas, Oakland, Ohio or Watertown Wisconsin, I'm too tired and frustrated to share the news of the day with the husband calling from the Marriott after a happy hour, dinner or run around the lake. I know there are long meals, layovers and and boring meetings. It isn't a competition, I simply wish we could trade places every now and then.

So this week was a challenging one and it's Friday evening and instead of joining my family outside I am hiding in my basement writing this blog. The week before I was on my own for several days before venturing on a seven hour car trip wit the kids to meet their dad in Albuquerque for Labor Day weekend. Let's just say that trip, which had some nice moments, almost pushed me over the edge. It isn't
The trip started out promising. They sure look innocent
 all bad. We managed an exhausting (think holding a 2 year old for an hour long service while reprimanding a five year old who wouldn't sit still) but meaningful Rosh Hoshanah celebration, and a family game night. But I'm worn out, burnt out and ready for a weekend in bed, which as I am sure you can imagine, is simply not in the cards.... 


  1. Having spent an incredible amount of time as a single mama (between army reserves and business trips, he's absent a fair amount) I totally hear you. No break = no sanity. None.

  2. Man, that shit sounds HARD Rachel! I whine like a mad woman whenever Larissa works a late night and I have ONE evening of just me with the two angels. I seriously cannot imagine what you deal with. You are a SAINT and should give yourself props for all that you do! 8^)

    1. Thanks Lady! Support and validation is huge! Sometimes I feel like a whiner, but I needed to vent!

  3. Okay, that made me tired and feeling the pangs of an anxiety attack just from reading it.

    Seven-hour car ride to an hour-long service. You deserve a frickin medal.

  4. As a single-single mom I get it! I have my 8 year old son 50% of the time and there are many times I want a break but it's not an option. I feel guilty about it especially when he's not with me & I realize how much I miss him. Don't worry, you're normal! Being a mama is the most rewarding & toughest job in the world!!!

  5. Man, that is hard work. Wishing you lots of rest. And wine. Wine always helps.