Friday, September 20, 2013

Mama Bear

Wait, what was that? Did you seriously just tell my five year old to "mind his own business?" Could I have heard that right Mr. 30-Something, who clearly has no children of his own? By the way he may only be in Kindergarten but he was right, your ugly dog should be on a leash.

Now if I wasn't carrying a toddler covered in chocolate and preoccupied with trying to find my keys so I can open the front door for my kid who has to go I might just come after you and give you a piece of my mind.  I would, you know. I have been working out. I can curl 12 pounds. Sort of.

 Don't think I didn't see your condescending sneer Mr. Yuppy in that $45 J. Crew t-shirt. I know what I look like. These Target yoga pants actually look just fine sans sticky ice cream hand prints. I'll bet you take a forty-five minute shower every morning, you finely groomed child-hater. I look pretty damn good for the fact that I only have 12.3 minutes allotted for my daily beauty regimen. I wonder how good you would look  if you were trying to shave while a two year old was disassembling your entire bathroom.

I wonder where you are off to on your leisurely evening walk? Must be nice to walk through the neighborhood sneering at children without a care in the world. When I walk down the street I'm usually looking frantically in each direction to ensure that one of my three kids isn't hit by a maniac Jack-Ass driver (I'm guessing you might be one of them.)

So watch your step J.Crew and don't you ever talk to my kid that way again. Mama Bear is MAD.


  1. As always, a fun read. :) I've had a few angry mama bear moments myself.

  2. lol. i hate those people. I dealt with one at the library a couple weeks ago and wasnt sure if I should cry or punch her. I chose a slightly-rude comment instead. ;)