On Aging

None of us live forever, certainly this is why the passing of time is such a popular topic among writers. We all marvel at how quickly the years pass, particularly after we become parents. We watch newborns turn into toddlers and then children in the blink of an eye. We see the lines appear on our own faces and wonder, when did that happen? We witness our own parents age, their bodies change, their hair grey. Unstoppable. Unstoppable. Julian is now almost six months. His first little baby tooth is pushing through. Unstoppable. Unstoppable.

It's inevitable, and perhaps that is the hardest part. Certainly for those who can afford it plastic surgery can mask the evidence, but even for them, it doesn't stop the passage of time, it doesn't truly keep one young.

Growing up in a youth obsessed culture, I admit that at age 37, I already miss my younger self. The tone in my skin and my calves. The brightness of my eyes, the whitness of my teeth, the tightness of my tummy. Aging has already left it's physical mark.

Recently I was telling a friend about my 1997 trip to London. I lived there for six months on a student visa. I lived in a one bedroom flat with my boyfriend and two other people. I was a waitress. I often spent my mornings wandering the streets, parks and museums of the city on my own. I took my time, and reported to nobody. I drank tea in cafes, had a pint in a pub, and read a book in Hyde Park on my own time. Tonight I looked back at my photo album from that time (see above pictures) and became quite nostalgic. I miss that woman. Young, free, ambitious, pretty, hard working. My whole life ahead of me.

That isn't to say that things did not turn out well. Of course they did. I married that boyfriend. We found careers, traveled, and created a beautiful family. I love my life, but I am afraid that it is passing too quickly, and my growing children remind me of that every single day.

Lately there are times when I wish that I could not only press "pause" on life, but that I could also rewind, and go back to my younger self. It's hard to see that person fade and to know that I can never, ever go back.

We all get older. If we choose to have children we proudly watch them take our places amongst the ranks of the youth. For me it brings great happiness, but also some sorrow as I begin to fully acknowledge our circle of life.

Best Email. Ever.

I just received this email from a dear friend, who like me has two little boy terrors at home. I just had to share.

Subject: Pee

Are you cleaning pee of your floor and walls daily because your boys don't have aim? Do you cry because you just scrubbed the floors and 5 minutes later there is pee surrounding the toilet? I do.

Fucking Pee.

Miss you.

God I love this woman.

Dinner Dilemmas-Pasta & Trees: Meh

It's time for Dinner Dilemmas once again. Before I dive into the recipe, let me first say that today was one of those days. A day when I tried really hard, and yet my efforts just did not yield the results I hoped for.

Wednesday is a "minimum day" in Oakland public schools, this means the bell rings at 1:30 instead of 2:45. I planned a play date with one of Zack's classmates as a way to pass the time. My hope was that the boys could at least partially entertain themselves.

I picked the boys up at school and served them snack once we arrived home. As soon as the last morsel of brownie was consumed the kids were looking at me as if to say "what's next?" Crud. Luckily I had prepared a holiday inspired craft, hand print turkeys. A simple project. We painted hands and left our imprints on foam. From there the idea was to decorate with markers, glitter, googly eyes and the like. The result? Zack had several meltdowns due to "mess ups," I was holding Captain No Nap, and trying to clean up paint spills with one hand. The pictures were cute, but not worth the tears...or the mess.

Now to the dinner. The recipe:

Pasta & Trees (Rachael Ray, Cooking Rocks! Rachel Ray 30-Minute Meals For Kids)

1 pound broccoli tops

1 pound pasta (corkscrew)

1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

2 tbsp butter

3 cloves garlic

1 cup ricotta cheese

1/2 cup Parmesan

Separate broccoli into small trees by pulling them apart. Put broccoli florets into a pot and cover with water. Bring to boil and add 4 pinches of salt. Cook broccoli about 5 minutes. Drain.

Boil pasta water add 4 pinches of salt, add pasta. Cook until al dente.

Pour oil and butter into frying pan and heat over low heat. When butter melts add garlic and cook 5 minutes. Add broccoli to garlic.

Drain pasta and add to broccoli. Add ricotta and grated cheese and stir. Add salt and pepper.

My comments:

Just like the rest of my day... Meh. It was fine. Easy to prepare. Tasted fine. Rather bland. Perhaps perfectly kiddo-bland.

The Judges:

Zachary:

Three Stars. "It was okay mom" was about all I got out of my critic. He ate a good portion of it, but was not exactly licking his lips.

Evan:

Evan seems a bit confused by our rating system. Like his brother he gave the dish three stars, but his comments were that "it wasn't good", and he really didn't eat much of anything. (Surprise, surprise!)

The result? Oh Rachael Ray, how I want to like you. We share the same name, you are cute and bubbly and believe in simple cooking, however this recipe was just so-so.... I spent $16.95 on your cookbook, so I will give you another shot.

So here is to a more spunky day tomorrow-better food, happier artists and a baby who naps!

No Thanks

Dear Universe,

I am sure you thought you were doing me a giant favor by turning back the clocks and giving me an extra hour today. I can see why you might think that, however quite frankly I do not wish to accept this gift. I know, I know I should be grateful for every blessed second I get to spend with my beautiful boys, so an extra hour today should be welcomed with open arms. The problem is, I feel like I have plenty of time with my princes. To be honest, I don't need a second more of playing referee in the battle of "that's mine," "he got more," or "my super powers are stronger than your super powers."

Furthermore, by setting back the clocks you are now ensuring a week of rising before the sun, most likely around 5:30am, while the boys "adjust" to the time difference. And the afternoons? They just got longer. Now that darkness will fall during my go-to 4:00 activity (playing at the park), I will be forced to come up with a whole host of creative activities to do at home. I was strained to come up with the paper plate jack-o-lantern craft, if that tells you anything about my artistic abilities.

So great Universe, you can take back your extra hour today, I just simply have no use for it.

Best Regards,

Rachel

Occupy Kargas Inc?

Dear Kargas Inc. Team,

I know that some of you have been inspired by Occupy Oakland & Wallstreet. We understand your enthusiasm for this effort, however we have heard rumors about "Occupy Kargas Inc" and this concerns us.

As CEO of Kargas Inc, I want to make sure that you are fully informed about our financials. For starters, we are not a profitable organization, furthermore unlike most CEO's in our country I do not receive a salary, nor any bonus what-so-ever. That is correct. NO BONUS!

I also want to insure you that the senior leadership of this organization works incredibly hard. Vacation days? Zero. Sick days? Zero. Holidays? None.

And the hours? Just yesterday I was called into meetings at 12, 2 and 4:30 am. I am not afraid of hard work. Around the clock.


So please, consider the facts before you protest.

But if you must protest please follow the following guidelines:

• Inside voices.


• If vandalizing, please use only the Crayola washable markers.


• Remember to practice non-violence. Usually protesters do not hit each other. There is typically no biting at rallies.

Thank you for your cooperation in these matters.

Warm Regards,

Mommy

Dinner Dilemma: Sweet & Sour Baked Chicken

The boys were quite excited when I told them of their new role as official food critics. I let them know that one day a week they can tell me exactly what they think about my cooking (but they still have to eat their dinner before any dessert!)

First recipe:

Sweet & Sour Baked Chicken with Brown Rice. (recipe adapted from Better Baby Food by Daina Kalinins and Joanne Saab)

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts

1/2 cup tomato sauce

3 tbsp brown sugar

2 tbsp cider vinegar

1/2 cup crushed pineapple with juice

1 clove garlic, minced

cooked rice

1. Place chicken breasts in prepared casserole.

2. In small bowl, combine tomato sauce, sugar, vinegar, pineapple (with juice) and garlic; spoon over chicken. Bake in a preheated oven for 45 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink and juices run clear.

3. Serve chicken and rice over cooked rice.

My Remarks:

Super, super easy, literally about five minutes of work. I actually liked the taste, it is a bit sweet, but it reminded me of the sweet and sour stuffed peppers my mom made for me as a kid. I would eat it again.

But now..... THE JUDGES.

Zachary

Zachary gave the recipe FIVE STARS! He almost cleaned his plate.

Zack's comments: "I liked the chicken because of the sweet pinnapple." The heavens sing.

Evan

Evan was not so enthusiastic. He gave the dish two stars. I asked him what he liked about the dinner and he said the rice. I asked him what he didn't like about the dinner and he said the chicken, which was obvious since he ate only about two bites of it.

Evan's comments: "I didn't like the chicken. It wasn't good."

Success? Only if I am trying to feed just one child...

Dinner Dilemmas: Meet My Critics

Zachary Kargas

Food Favorites: Peperoni pizza, peanut butter and jelly, bean & cheese burritos, cheeseburgers (hold the bun), fruit, all sweets.

Dislikes: Most casseroles, pigs in a blanket, spicy food, Chinese food, pizza without peperoni, bananas, eggs, salad.

Interview:

Do you think that mommy is a good cook? Sort of.

What is the best thing she ever cooked for you? Bean and cheese burrito.

What is the worst thing she ever cooked for you? Those roll up things with the ham.

What do you wish mommy would cook more of? Bean and cheese burritos.

What is your favorite restaurant? Subway.

Why? Because they have good sandwiches and Cheetos.

Evan Kargas

Food Favorites: Macaroni & Cheese, fruit, macaroni & cheese, PB&J, goldfish crackers, cereal, macaroni & cheese, milk, yogurt covered raisins and did I mention macaroni & cheese?

Dislikes: Eggs, meat, the crust part of pizza (which means anything under the cheese), pickles, tomatoes, bananas, burritos, chicken, fried rice.

Interview

Do you think that mommy is a good cook? Um..... yeah.

What is the best thing that she ever made for you? A corn dog.

What is the worst thing that she ever made for you? Spaghetti.

What do you wish she would cook more of? Subway.

What is your favorite restaurant? Subway.

Why? They have prizes and cookies.

So there you have it folks. I have some tough cookies to impress.

How I will be rated:

We will use a star rating system.

* Yuck!

** Not very good

*** OK

**** Pretty darn good

***** AWESOME!

First recipe is coming up tomorrow, stay tuned!