For those of you who read the post about my midlife crisis yesterday, you know that I have started running again. By running I really mean jogging, slowly.
I used to consider myself a runner, but in all honestly I was never much of an athlete. I jogged 3-5 miles a day, never less, rarely more. I just wanted to keep fit. I never participated in races or pushed myself too hard, but running was a part of my daily life. It was part of who I was. Until it wasn't anymore. After Zachary, I got back into running fairly quickly, and was in the best shape of my life. My husband and I would take the baby in the stroller and run together. With the extra load, my husband was more at my speed and we would take 5-8 mile runs side by side on a regular basis. After Evan, however, time became tighter, life became crazier and as a result, I ran less frequently. After Julian, well forget about it. I had a lot of reasons not to exercise, time, exhaustion, etc.
I realized recently that I missed it. Since I was a teenager, running was something that I have always done, it was part of me. It was time to myself, time to think, get the blood moving and to feel alive. I have decided that it was time to strap on my rusty running shoes again and get moving.
It isn't easy. I'm less than two weeks into it, but I have been fairly diligent. Over the past twelve days I have gone out seven times. It has felt good. It has felt like me, except that while running three miles used to be routine, I now find myself red faced and sore after a short run. It is actually a bit embarrassing, running around Lake Merritt, getting passed constantly as I chug along at a snails pace, sweating. Today was probably one of my low points. It was warm, and I was slow. I jogged passed someone I knew and felt ashamed to be seen in such a sorry state.
But I'm not going to give up. In a few months I'll look back on where I was today (and this red-faced photograph) and feel a sense of accomplishment. I'm getting back into shape. I'm getting this part of me back.
Here we go.... cheerleading welcome.