Keeping Score

Player 1: I got up 15 minutes earlier this morning and made breakfast (2pts)
Player 2: I got up 15 minutes later, but then cleaned up the disaster you made in the kitchen while you went for a jog. (3pts)
Player 1: I got up at 1am to deal with a blanket and a monster crises (3 pts)
Player 2: I changed four dirty diapers yesterday (3pts)
Player 1: I clean the litter box every day (3pts)
Player 2: I took two unruly kids to the grocery store yesterday (2pts)
Player 1: I let you watch the Real Housewives of New York Reunion show when I wanted to watch basketball (3pts)
Player 2: I did 5 loads of laundry this week (4pts)
Player 1: You spend too much money at Banana Republic (Player 2 deducts 5 pts)
Player 2: You went to Las Vegas for a guy's weekend (Player 2 deducts 8 pts)
Player 1: But I won money (4 pts)
Player 2: I clean the bathrooms (8 pts)
Player 1: Thank you (1 pts)
Player 2: I manage our social calendar (3pts)
Player 1: I go where you tell me (10pts)
Player 2: I make appointments for the doctors, the dentist, the haircuts and play dates (3pts)
Player 1: Thank you (1pt)
Player 2: I buy the kids shoes, clothes and toys (3pts)
Player 1: You spend too much (both players deduct 5 pts)
Player 2: I vacuum and sweep almost daily (2pts)
Player 1: I make sure we pay the rent, the mortgage, the utilities and your credit card (15 pts)
Player 2: I make sure we don't all die of boredom watching golf on TV ever Saturday afternoon (10pts)
Player 1: I make sure we don't go bankrupt. (15 pts)
Player 2: I plan the holidays, the parties the birthdays (10 pts)
Player 1: I go where you tell me. (pts already awarded)
Player 2: I listen to you snore! (5pts)
Player 1: I let you keep the house at a million degrees all winter long! (5pts)
Player 2: I put up with all of your bad music! (3pts)
Player 1: No you don't
Player 2: Your right. (deduct 3pts)
Player 1: I work long hours and hardly ever complain. I wear old clothes so you can have new ones, I put up with hours of reality television while missing my most beloved sports! (25 pts)
Player 2: I CARRIED your CHILDREN (50,000,000++++pts)
Player 1: I got nothin
Player 2: Damn straight.