Bravo T.V.: Better for you then heroin.

God damn Bravo TV. I love that freaking station. I am mesmerized by their programming. Million Dollar Matchmaker, Million Dollar Listing and The Real Housewives, these are my all time favorites. Thought provoking? No. Educational? No. Heart-felt? No. None of the above. It's all pure garbage designed to make us regular folk feel inadequate. And I eat it up. I'm addicted. When I want to turn the brain off, I turn to Bravo. Bless them.

Million Dollar Listing: I should not enjoy this program. When I watch these young whipper-snapper real estate agents earning a $500,000 commission on a home sale I feel jealous. When I see the immaculate, gigantic homes that they represent, I feel disgusted. Disgusted at the ridiculous display of wealth. 8,000 square feet? 7 bathrooms? 2 pools? A bowling ally?  Really? The owners should give a few million to charity and move into something more modest. Then I look closely at the beautiful furniture, the spotless immaculate rooms, nothing out of place, no silly knick-knacks that don't match. No dust bunnies, not random socks covering the closet floors, and I feel disgusted by my own pathetic home. My filthy, cluttered, unorganized home with all of the worn furniture and I want to scream into the television set "It's not fair!" Nobody makes me watch this program, yet I do. Oh, yes I do. Again, and again.

Million Dollar Matchmaker: There are so many reasons to hate this program. #1: Old, ugly rich men with thick wallets demanding 22 year old playboy models for "soul mates." Nauseated much? #2: First dates that involve helicopter rides, private dining rooms and caviar. OMG. That is so my life! The Hubs and I are always whisking away to Vegas in our private jet! #3) Patty critiquing the potential dates by insulting women who are too old, too fat or just not hot enough. Patty, take a look in the mirror! You are not doing any of us any favors. Who can live up to your freaking standards? Not even you!!! Stupid show. And so very fabulous.

The Real Housewives: I don't care what season or what city it's all the same. Cat fights, fake boobs, tummy tucks, designer clothing, ridiculous parties, expensive jewelry and fantasy vacations. One of their birthday celebrations is worth more than I can earn in a year. They are shallow, nasty bitches and they are so much fun to watch! And who can resist the ever charismatic Andy Cohen? I totally want to grab a cosmo with him! Sure, watching these housewives makes me feel like an unattractive bag lady with my highly unglamorous Old Navy wardrobe, but I can't turn it off and you can't make me.

What should I be watching? PBS? CNN? Nothing at all? Right. I should probably be reading. Cleaning. Doing something to better myself. But no, it's so much more fun to sit on my butt and get mad. Right?

Well. It's better for me than heroin. So there is that. 

Thirteen Years

Today the husband and I celebrate thirteen years of marriage. This October will mark twenty years together as a couple. Twenty years. Over half of our lifetime. I'm not exaggerating when I say that we grew up together. I don't know a life without Mr. David Kargas. I am a lucky woman indeed.

I usually try and post something sweet in honor of our anniversary, but just like writing a meaningful greeting card, it gets more challenging each year. Is that because we have been together for so many years that there is no longer any romance? Is it because I have nothing left to say?

No.

It is because with each passing year it becomes more impossible to put my feelings into words. After twenty years everything feels so trite. I can say that I love him, but we say that everyday. I can say that he is an amazing husband, father and man, but I have said that a million times and it doesn't express enough.There aren't any words that can express my gratitude for my life, and after all this time, David is woven into the fabric of who I am. I used to think that it was so important to have an identity separate from my spouse's. While I still feel the need to have occasional time to myself, and explore my own personal interests, it is now impossible to untangle David from my identity. We grew up together. We have influenced each other in so many ways, he will always be a part of who I am and who I will become. I could not be any more grateful that at 18 years of age, I found him.  Lucky doesn't begin to describe it.

So Happy Anniversary David. Even if I can put it in words, I think that you know how I feel.

Peaceful Demonstration Turns Violent At Kargas Inc Corporate HQ

Oakland, CA

A peaceful demonstration turned violent at Kargas Inc company headquarters on Tuesday evening. It has been reported that employees were participating in a protest as a means of drawing  attention to the inhumane working conditions at this 13 year old company. Employees have complained that they are required to follow unfair rules that limit use of television, Ipads and other varieties of media. They have also filed formal complaints about job duties, specifically janitorial/cleaning work that are not believed to be a part of their written job description.

On the evening of Tuesday, August 7, employees could be heard chanting "Not Fair! Not Fair!" But the tension grew when company CEO, Rachel Kargas announced that there would be veggie burgers for dinner. This new piece of information sparked an out and out riot. Spoons and forks were thrown, milk glasses pushed to the ground and Ms. Kargas was verbally assaulted with taunts such as, "You are the meanest person in the whole wide world! We HATE you!"

Ms. Kargas could not be reached for comment but it has been confirmed that senior leadership found her hiding in her office in the fetal position,  with a glass of wine and a copy of 50 Shades of Gray by her side.

Tuesday Ramblings With Rachel

There is a lot going in the world today; shootings, refinery fires, Olympics, mean guys selling chicken. I could write about any of these topics, but I know what you really want to hear about. MY HAIR OF COURSE.

It is getting out of control. I have very few options at this point. It is starting to look shaggy in front, and like a curly mullet in the back. H.O.T.  I am struck by how very slowly my hair seems to be growing. I have not had a haircut since March. Good Lord, this is a process. You will see my latest style in the picture to the right. Basically I'm hiding my hair as much as possible without wearing a hat. Yay.

You are *probably* also looking for an ankle update. Sure you are. My ankle sucks, thank you very much. It shows no signs of improvement. I have been clunking around in this boot for 3.5 weeks and my ankle looks exactly the same. I am not feeling very hopeful at this point. Will I ever run again????

Okay, since I am rambling, I'll go ahead and get on my soapbox. The Olympics..Women's volleyball. Can someone please tell me why it is necessary for the women (THE WOMEN ONLY) to wear little bikini bottoms to play volleyball? They are not really on the beach after all. It isn't as if they might just go for a swim after a match. If it is for better mobility, why aren't the men wearing speedos when they play? Instead male competitors wear long shorts. Yes, I realize that these are athletes with hot bodies. These women may even enjoy showing off, but I believe society is taking yet another opportunity to objectify women and use their bodies to sell products and ratings. It contributes to a sexist culture that values women's appearance above all their other contributions. Take a look at the below picture.I think I've made my point.

Cats: Why They Suck

These days nobody would call me a cat lover. I complain about my feline companions often. The puke, the messy litter box, the shedding and the urine soaked attic of our last rental home (which cost us nearly $2000). Cats, not a fan.

But it wasn't always that way, not at all. At one point in my life you could have called me a cat fanatic. I loved the four legged creatures and was rather vocal about it. When I was in my early twenties I actually owned a cat sweater. I'm not joking. People used to email me crazy cat photos with great frequency. I was given cat related gifts, mugs, stationary, art, you name it. On our wedding day, the Cantor who married us actually mentioned our two four legged friends in her "sermon." I know. I know. I had crazy cat lady written all over me.

My, how things change. The truth is, a huge percentage of my life is effected by the bodily functions of cats. To begin with, cat litter pays our bills. That's right, my husband actually works for a cat litter company. He lives, breaths and dreams about cat crap. You can view his work here. It actually quite amusing.  I justify the fact that my spouse does all the litter box cleaning by assuming he is doing company research with each scoop. But I cannot avoid cleaning up after my kitties, Wynkoop and Flanders. Flanders is at least thirteen years old. I'm not sure anymore. There was probably a time where we actually celebrated his birthday, but I'm blocking that out. That cat weighs about 5lbs. I can feel every bone in his scrawny little body. He pukes with great frequency and produces a great stench every time he uses the litter box, which is located in my office. Don't ask. I have to light candles and sweep up litter constantly just to make it through the work day. Just the other night I awoke to him pawing at my covers, doing "the litter box dance" because he had just done his business. On my bed. Yes it was gross. Very, very gross.

Wynkoop is about two years old. He is my grief cat. I picked him up after my beloved Wiggum passed away. I thought it would ease the pain. It did. For a while. Then the cute innocent kitten turned into a big ugly cat that likes to toss out litter with a mighty paw after every use. I sweep up litter. Lots and lots of litter.

Nobody in their right mind would ever adopt Flanders. This bag of bones could easily destroy a home in a matter of days. Giving him up to the humane society would be equivalent to a death sentence and I simply don't have it in me. Just look at his face. He is cute after all. I figure if we have to keep Flanders than we might as well keep Wynkoop. So we are two cat family. Even though I really don't like fur balls much at all.

And thus, my life is ruled by cats. Specifically the cat box. It pays our bills, it's with me in the office, and it keeps me sweeping and sweeping and sweeping day in and day out. While I'm grateful to cats across America for using litter boxes, I must say I am starting to despise the species.

In conclusion, would someone please instruct my husband to stop gifting me Kitty-Cat Christmas ornaments each and every holiday? What I really need is a nose plug and a new broom. 

Better Post Next Time

I have been quiet lately. Blogging has taken a backseat to a "hectic" summer schedule. "Hectic" because with my foot in this boot I have personally been doing a lot of sitting, which has been hard for me. But the week is busy dropping off and picking up from various camps, working, visitors, and the usual "upkeep" of the house. "Upkeep" because I am barely keeping up. The house is constantly in a state of filth and disaster, but I try. Lord do I try.

I have not been blogging much. We have been busy, and perhaps I have been a tad bit uninspired, a wee bit down in the dumps. It turns out I am a very active person, and when I am forced to stand still I go a little nutty.

The summer is speeding by. We are about to enter August, usually my most favorite month of the year. It is  packed with outdoor activity, and has the added bonus of being the month of my wedding anniversary and  birthday. I used to love my birthday. This year is year number 38, and suddenly, I'm not loving it so much. I don't want to be 38. I would prefer 28 thank you very much. Now, with the lack of physical activity and a birthday I would almost like to forget***, I'm not so into August.

This past weekend my friend Erin visited from Boston. Erin is one of those easy friends, the kind where conversation seems to come naturally and I know she is always there. If she were still living here, I would have a friend to meet for spontaneous play dates, coffee or cocktails. I miss her terribly. Friends like Erin are hard to find. It was so refreshing to spend the weekend with her!

Julian has learned to climb the stairs, which has created a whole host of problems. It took me a moment to realize he was a Master Climber. It was a day last week when I was in the kitchen cleaning up dinner and realized that Julian was out of sight. It turned out that he had made it all the way upstairs, into my office. He was playing in the litter box. Of course he was. What could be more fun (when you are fourteen months?) We have since installed a gate, but it keeps falling down, and often leaves Julian wailing at it's door, wanting nothing more than to scale the stairs and make his way back to the beloved cat box. 

Zack and Evan are their old mischievous selves. Fighting, making messes and never doing as they are told. (Like shutting off the jets in the bathtub. See picture for bubble bath disaster.)

So there you have it, a random ramble of what's going on in my life today.

Better post next time.

Notice my fashionable boot. Hot.

***Husband/friends/family: If you are reading this please note that I said almost. I do not actually want you to forget my birthday. Do. Not. Forget. Thank you.

Tragedy

My generation has seen so much tragedy, much of it in the form of senseless violence. We experienced the Oklahoma City Bombing, Columbine, 9/11 and now Aurora. I know that the generations before have also seen their share of war and displays of inhumanity. It is never ending. In recent history we have seen the Holocaust, Vietnam and Rwanda. Mothers and babies killed by fathers and sons. Unimaginable cruelty from one person to another. Over and over and over again. I do not believe it will ever end. Humans are not above it. Perhaps, this is just part of the human condition. There will always be crazy. There will always be injustice. The unimaginable will become reality.

Where does that leave us?

In the wake of the tragic events in Colorado there has been a great deal of conversation regarding gun control. I have seen verbal spats played out on facebook, both sides of the fence pointing fingers and calling names. I have my own opinions on the topic. I don't like guns. Period. Guns are created for a single purpose, and I'm not comfortable with killing. Yet, at this point, while the wounds are still fresh, I can only see one thing clearly. There is no easy answer. While limiting access to guns, particularly the semiautomatic 100-round barrel variety the Aurora shooter used may seems logical to me, I am also aware that in this day and age we will never be truly "safe." There will always be insanity. Just look a the wack jobs of the Westboro Church who plan to picket the Aurora victim's memorial. I wouldn't want to run into one of those nut cases in a dark ally. Yet, if we can keep guns out of the hands of the insane and the angry, I'm all for it. Although it may be a losing battle, we have to do whatever we can to try and prevent such horrific acts from happening again.

I don't pretend to have the answers, quiet frankly the issue is clearly complex and I haven't done my research. I just want my kids to be able to attend school and go to the movies without fearing for their lives. Making it more difficult for people to obtain semiautomatic weapons that can take down 50 plus people in a couple of minutes just seems logical to me. What else can we do?

I didn't start writing this with the intention of getting on a soapbox. My real purpose was actually to express my fear and sadness over these terrible, terrible events. Like Columbine, Aurora has been written into Colorado and American history. We are in a new era, one where none of us can ever really feel safe, and that perhaps is  the greatest tragedy of all.